Metal Mistake
by halfhuman123
Summary: There must have been a mistake. No one in their right mind would ever, EVER consider Jack Spicer for anything, much less something like this! Rating may change.
1. Omi's Visit

A/N: So, I've been working on this story for years. And I feel it's finally ready to be posted. I've posted it once on DA, but I feel like it would be... mean, to not post it here too. This is the first part of the first chapter, and there are several other chapters after this, along with several PARTS of those chapters. Hey, it's a long ass story. I'm gonna try to finish this one before my next milestone birthday. That sounds about right. So far, I own nothing.

**Chapter One: The Visits: Omi**

I glared at them from my place on the ground, holding up a few wires and some metal plates from my biggest, best and greatest death machine.

A machine of undeniable power.

A machine of unmeasurable strength.

A machine they were able to cut through like butter. Which wasn't fair! It was my only advantage, and my only strength and they--

They were gloating about it right now. Those losers. I hate them, so, SO much...

"Alright, so you won. Do you mind leaving so I can clean this up and be on my merry way!?" I tried to shove as much sarcasm in there as I could. But they just stood there, like they didn't understand the plain English that was coming out of my mouth.

Should they understand me? I mean, Omi's Chinese, Kimiko's Japanese, Raimundo's Brazilian, and Clay's American. So maybe Clay should be able to understand me, but not the others, right? Whatever. They still didn't move.

"What's the matter, Spicer? All done for the day?" Kimiko cooed, putting on her best mock baby voice. Omi decided that was the best time to jump into the fray and rub salt into my wounds. Along with some lemon juice and pure rubbing alcohol.

Sure, why not, cue ball? Why not...

"Jack Spicer will obviously never defeat us! Not compared to the might of the Xiaolin Dragons!"

Alright, that does it! Why do I take this? I normally just fly away, and never say anything again until next time. But right now, I just can't take it. I would rather throw my last two cents in their faces before disappearing forever.

That's right, you heard me. I'm done with this! I can't take it anymore. I'm quitting this whole Shen Gong Wu game. It's brought me nothing but humiliation and more anti socialism than I had originally designated for myself.

"Yeah. MIGHTY Xiaolin Dragon Rangers, go! You know what, I really DON'T need this right now. Enjoy it, Xiaolin Dragons. I QUIT!" They all gasped. I couldn't believe it. I was actually sounding intelligent. And they were actually shocked.

They were actually... Shocked! "Have fun with your DRAGON MIGHT!" They watched me with wide eyes. But it was great! I can't believe I actually had them eating out of the palm of my hands! What I wasn't aware of, though, was what was going on behind me. "I'll just take my METAL," I waved a piece above my head. "Then and be OUT OF YOUR WAY!" I said, turning around, both hands waving about in the air now.

But I wasn't expecting to see a large mimic of my hands, made of the scraps from my robots, behind me, waving in almost the same manner that I was.

I didn't realize I looked that ridiculous.

And it didn't take me long to drop my hands and look up at the waving towers of scraps with large eyes. And even as I tell this story with practiced calm, I was probably screaming my lungs out.

They stopped, and dropped in front of me, as if they, too, had just given up. I watched the sight, feeling heavy pounding all around me, creating a perfect circle of robot parts and machinery, and trapping me in the middle. And, a few feet in front of me was a tiny symbol, glowing in the dirt. I was very well learned in ancient Chinese, as well as modern Chinese, and many other languages.

And I know more than enough to understand what those scratches in the ground meant.

I did my best to cover it up.

If they found out... that would completely be the end of my evil career.

I cleared my throat and stood up, dusting off my pants in the best casual manner I could muster.

"Ahem! Well, it's been nice, Losers. But, like I said," I was starting to raise my voice more, they were asking too many questions, and I didn't want to answer any of them.

Especially not Omi's.

"Jack Spicer... Are you alright?"

He HAD to be the one to ask, didn't he?

I mean, sure I hated the little cue ball, but he was... I dunno, the only thing I had that was anything close to a friend. So, this said, you might be able to guess why it was hard not to cry. One, because I was definitely NOT okay. And two... I knew I could talk to Omi about it, and he'd at least be semi-understanding. As for his fellow dragons... Not so sure about them.

"Like I said, I'm gone. FOREVER!"

When I arrived home, no one was there, thank goodness, but I was still frustrated, needed to scream, and was going to wait till I got downstairs to scream.

Metal Dragon...

The symbol flashed in my mind, and I shook my head, trying to clear it. Why NOW!? Why, when I was finally done with Xiaolin, done with Heylin, done with showdowns and Shen-Gong-Wu, did this have to happen?

I reached for the doorknob, but before my fingers were even six inches away from it, it sprung back, causing the door to jump back and slam against the wall behind it, I winced and sighed. They really wanted me to accept this, didn't they?

"It's a shame I'm done with this, or else I think it'd be REAL cool to have these powers!!" I yelled, hoping that whatever forces gave me the CURSE would hear me and take them away.

Unfortunately, when I raised my hands up, my screwdriver flew into my face, giving me a brilliant blue bruise.

As I rubbed my eye, now probably turning black and blue, I could hear a small voice from the shadows behind me, and I knew I couldn't ignore it this time.

"J-Jack?" I knew he was alone. He wouldn't bring the others, not this time. I peaked at him through long fingers and black fingerless gloves. He was standing, looking up at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Great. Just what I need." I could hear the accidental harshness in my voice and tried again. "What do you want, Omi?" Yeah, that sounded a little better.

I could tell it did, since he smiled a little. "I wanted to ask you..." Oh yeah, here it comes. Why did you give up? Jack Spicer? "What is your birthday?"

...What!?

"What!?" I'm sure I heard him wrong, but when he asked again, there it was. He wanted to know my birthday. I was so shocked I momentarily didn't remember. But then, I had every right to. What was the last birthday I had actually celebrated? Like, with friends? Or anything? That would probably have been.... never. Oh, right. The question. "Uhhh.... July 15th." He thought about that, then nodded, as if that pleased him. I was about to ask him why it mattered, why he needed to know, when he spoke again.

"Mine is January 9. Did you know that is why I have the nine dots on my head?" I raised an eyebrow, but shook my head anyway. He closed his eyes and nodded in that... Too-old-for-his-age way. "Oooh yes. It is a mark for being the first born on the ninth, during the last month of the year!"

"Faaascinating. How old are you, anyway?" I asked, not even sure why I wanted to know. I mean... I was done with them.

Wasn't I?

"I'm told I have lived nine years, but as you know, I am an orphan." That's the one thing I admired about the kid. He's never sad about that. I smiled at him, a sad sort of smile that I know would make him happy. And it did. He smiled up at me once again, his black eyes glowing with appreciation.

I looked away. I couldn't get friendly with him now, it was too late.

All of a sudden, before I could ask him to leave--yes I was going to ask--I heard a gurgling sound, coming from somewhere behind and below me. I turned back to Omi, who was blushing and holding his stomach.

He giggled nervously and I smiled, patting his big, round, bald head, and lead the way to the kitchen.

"What is this strange concoction, Jack Spicer?" I looked at the place I set in front of him, a bowl of macaroni and cheese, some cookies, and a glass of chocolate milk.

"Mac 'n' cheese, chocolate milk, and chocolate chip cookies." I said, pointing to each thing. I was dining French style today. (What? I LIKE the fancy stuff just as much as I like pudding!) A roll of black bread, several fancy types of cheese, tea, caviar, and other things that caused Omi to stare.

After a few minutes of quiet, Omi picked up his fork and stabbed a noodle, looking at it apprehensively, before popping it into his mouth and chewing.

"Mmmmmm! This is MOST excellent, Jack!" He cheered. I grinned nervously.

"I just put it in the microwave..." But I'm sure I looked pleased anyway. After cleaning up everything and doing the dishes (Omi did most of it, I helped), we went to the living room, so I could show him some of my favorite cartoons that I video taped. I used to watch them with my.... erm... stuffed animals. Like I had friends to watch them with. Just like with everyone else I know, everyone back then... when I was a kid, thought I was a freak. So...

Yeah. No friends.

As we glided through the first half hour of cartoons, Omi began to laugh more. Probably because, after I explained them to him more, he understood them easier. It was nice, though. Having someone to watch these with. Like a kid brother, someone younger than me, and more innocent, for whom the shows were originally intended.

Even though I liked them, I loved watching them, always, it was just so much fun... so much more fun to watch it with him than by myself. I'm sure it would have been fun with anyone, but Omi made it REALLY amusing.

"Ooooh! I understand! It is funny because the RABBIT has tricked the DUCK AND the hunter!" And then he would laugh. And I had to laugh too, because just voicing the thought process out loud was... I stopped laughing and smiled softly, just so that he wouldn't ask questions. That was something I used to do. And... I guess it was still stupid sounding. Still, it didn't make those losers laugh, and I... I stopped again.

There was something wrong... And it just hit me, like a HUGE ton of bricks. "Hey Omi... Where are the other Monks?" He sort of stiffened on the couch, like he knew he was caught, but didn't REALLY want to admit it.

Omi scratched his head and giggled nervously. "Eheheh. Wh-what do you mean?" I glared at him shortly, before he gulped. "I-I mean... uh... Weeeell... I didn't just leave... I left them a note, and..."

"...What did you tell them?" I asked, slow enough for him to know I meant business, but not too slow. He winced, and ground his teeth at me, trying to speak, but not wanting or willing to. "Omi, what did you TELL THEM!?!" I stood up swiftly and glared at him before pushing a few buttons on my watch, not wanting to wait for a response. "Jack to all Jack bots, on full alert, monks MAY be in the perimeter, secure and... uhm... secure. Just be sure NO ONE gets into the mansion!"

Omi smiled at me nervously while I placed the bots all around the place. "She's not gonna be happy... if those monks break into the basement again, mom's gonna KILL me!"

I heard Omi gasp. "But why would a mother kill her own son?" Silence. I spared him a small glance, and returned to my watch, which controlled all of my bots. When they had been dispatched, and I didn't hear another word on the monks being here, I went back to the basement, Omi fast at my heels.

"Jack Spicer, what are you doing? I would like to help!" I sighed, but I couldn't find the harm in it, and nodded.

"I have to check the surveillance cameras. You do the whole monk thing, and check the house, just don't open any doors you don't know. And stay QUIET! Mom's here, and she's sleeping, if she wakes up, I'm in a LOT of trouble." He just watched me.

"But why would you be in trouble?" I wasn't that into swiveling multiple cameras in different directions to avoid the question.

"Because mom hates to be woken up, especially for no good reason, and even more so when you guys break the house!" I could hear a soft mumbling, but I was too infuriated to stop talking. "I mean, is it too much to ask to have you use the door? The snowman, the sapphire jellyfish, Mala Mala, everything happens here, and this place is always getting torn up. And WHO pays for it? Me! Do I even break YOUR house? Noooo! And yet, you do mine. And I, oh, I pick up my toys, and leave, and did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, I just wanted a frie--..."

It happened again. I said too much. Me and my big mouth. I looked at Omi, who, I could tell, even though his big, bowling ball head was bowed, was crying. I sighed, feeling bad for what I had just said, and reached out to comfort him, but he turned away before I could, and mumbled that he was going to check the house.

Five minutes later or so, I heard him come back in, and, when I turned around, I saw his face trailed with tear tracks, going straight down.

I had to hand it to the little guy. He knew how to make me feel bad. "Jack Spicer...I... I am sorry. I didn't--"

"Don't bother." He looked up at me as I handed him a wet towel. "It's fine. I guess, when you have super powered friends, you should expect some kind of property damage."

Omi smiled, and I know he heard me say friends (What else would we be?) but... he left it alone.

We went back upstairs, preparing to watch more cartoons, when we were greeted by a tall, thin figure at the top of the stairs.

"Wuya!" Omi yelled, preparing to jump her.

"Woah! Hang on, Baldy." She KINDA looked like Wuya. If you REALLY needed glasses, her hips weren't as big, and her hair was way shorter. "THAT'S my momma."

Blinding light gave way to her human form and features, and he could see now that there was nothing witchy about her face, just plain blue eyes, and short, bright, honey colored hair.

And, I bet if you could measure magic, mom wouldn't quite have... well, any.

"Jack. Sweetheart. Hither and yon." She said it so slowly it sounded like she couldn't be sweeter. In reality, slow was BAD with mom. Omi looked up at me, confused at the wording she choose to use.

"It means 'come here'. Yeah, mom? What's up?" She just watched me as if I asked what two plus two was. That almost always meant trouble.

For me, anyways.

"What's up? Jonathan Matthew Spicer, you send robots to guard the perimeter, and YOU ask ME what's up? Turn it around and answer the question." Mom never was one to mince words.

"Please, honorable Lady Spicer, it was only for your protection--" My mom just noticed the cue ball, and stared for a while before breaking out in a wide grin.

Crap. Here it comes...

"Ooooooooh..... Aren't you THE CUTEST LITTLE THING! Ooooooooh, Jack, you never told me you had a friend!" She blushed, and stuttered as I myself turned bright red. "I-I-I mean, a friend this cute. A friend... this cute. That's what I meant to say." Omi smiled up at mom, who was hugging him tightly, and holding him to her like a teddy bear. Sure, yes, I felt a little jealous. I mean, it's MY mom. Er... SHE'S my mom.

Omi, the little CHEESER was just standing there, grinning.

I bet it's his first hug. From a real woman. I mean, Kimiko is okay, but... flat much?

"Thank you fair Lady Spicer, and I hope that--" But mom cut him off again.

"Oh, isn't he just DARLING? I should show him off to all my friends." Shyeah. He'd probably actually LIKE that. A whole bunch of ladies pinching his cheeks and giving him sweets and cookies.

...Makes me wish I were cute again. Anyways.

"Call me Mrs. Spicer, dear. Jack, did you feed your little friend?"

"Yeah mom." I said, chugging an energy drink. Little did I realize, someone... or rather, several someones, sneaking around my front yard.

"Oh, yes! Jack Spicer handled the microwave MOST excellently! And made me Mike and Cheese!" Ma blinked before giggling, and I slapped him on the head.

He looked affronted at first, but when he saw I was smiling, and knew I was joking... he began to laugh, too.

Here's something that no one knows, though; I actually felt like... a part of someones life. Like I was wanted.

And cared about.

And... I actually liked that feeling.

"It's 'Mac and Cheese', Shorty." I said between laughs. He caught on to why we were laughing and laughed along, louder, even though he was blushing.

You know, when everything's going awesome, something's gotta go wrong.

Damn you, Karma.

The door smashed open, and (Surprise), in popped the other three monks. The dragon (I can only presume) was shrunk down and hidden in the cowboy's hat.

"Alright, Spicer, give Omi BA-OWW!" Raimundo started, but never finished, because my mom hit him upside the head with her special made, metal link fan she always kept on her.

And that thing HURTS!

Trust me, I know.

"Hey! So THAT'S what's been happening to the walls! I've been punishing JACKIE for that!" She gasped, stepping back from the monks. Mom clutched the fan tighter and took another step back. And I knew full well what that meant. "And that means... YOU all broke... my..." This wouldn't be good. I grabbed Omi and pulled him back. He jumped, and tried to wiggle free, but didn't make any noise.

Which was... well... actually, it didn't really matter.

"...VAAASSSE!!!" She shrieked, swinging furiously with twin fans now. The three warriors jumped out of the way, as I was laughing my ass off, and Omi was stunned.

"How can such a sweet woman be so--" I laughed again, seeing how confused Omi was.

"Mom's trained in hand to hand combat, as well as a master of weaponry. Well, most types, anyways." I smiled softly towards her, and I could feel Omi's eyes on my face. "She's teaching me on the staff, and 'the art of kick-boxing'." Omi smiled at me, still impressed that I was so calm. Or maybe he just felt a strong bond with my mother.

"AY! Jack! You wanna call off your ma--AAH!" Raimundo was yelling out, and trying to block more of mom's punches, swings, and blows from the fan.

I smiled. "Well, I dunno... mom does look like she's having fun. MOM!" She looked up at me, taking a defensive stance. "They're my friends. It's okay."

She glared at them, and I could tell they wanted to relax, but were worried if mom would start swinging again or not.

Finally, mom lowered her fans, and turned her back on them. "Keep an eye on them, Jack." She told me, patting me on the head. Mom looked down at Omi and hugged him again. "Take care, little one." He closed his eyes, and reached out to her, to hold her.

And in the span of a few seconds, I saw something that changed my opinion of the little guy forever.

He was crying.

This kid had no family, no real parents... stuff that I had taken for granted. And I guess he realized that. That he saw that. And I know my mom did, too, or else she probably would have just patted him on the head or something.

I smiled. He was crying because he knew he got his very first mom hug.

When she pulled away, she wiped her eyes, and said to me, "Hey, kiddo, dinner in half an hour. Say goodbye to your friends."

I nodded and watched her go. The others looked slightly insulted, but left anyway, or... were about to before they realized Omi's eyes were still glued to the door leading upstairs.

"Omi?" Kimiko called out to him, but he didn't look back.

"May I say goodbye first?" His voice sounded strangled, and it even cracked a few times. The monks were confused, and threw me MORE than enough dirty looks, but nodded, and left.

I went to my chair and stared at the little cheese ball, and it was quiet for a REAL long time. Then--

"Jack? Is a mom hug always like that?"

I bit my lip. "Uhmm--" I looked away from him, thinking of what to say.

What came out of my mouth could only be defined in one despicable, horrid, mess of a word. Well, actually a sentence, really.

I spewed out pure poetry, to comfort my enemy.

"A mom hug is different all the time. Each time, it changes. When you're sad, a mom hug will cheer you up. When you're happy, a mom hug will make you even happier, even though that doesn't seem possible. And when you're mad, a mom hug will make you confused, cuz then she's trying to cheer you up, and you don't want to be happy, but you are anyway, even when you're REALLY mad at her. When you're mad at her, and she hugs you, it's like two different types of war inside your mind. And when it doesn't seem possible, a mom hug can make you sad. Because she's disappointed in you, since you let her down, and she wants to hold you close, since you're her one and only, and you think holding her will make you feel better, but then... it doesn't. And you want to do anything for a happy mom hug. For... a happy mom."

I looked over at him, not sure of what I said, or why I even said it.

Omi was smiling again. Not really happy, but not sad anymore either. Content! That's the word. Like, satisfied. "Thank you, Jack." He said, patting my knee before going to catch up with the others.

I watched him go, but shook the growing smile from my face. Who knew what I was now, but I wasn't going to go all good. And I wasn't going back to the Heylin side, either.

Why didn't they understand!? That life is over for me!

Right?


	2. Clay's Visit

A/N: Well, I figured since this got such a positive response, I'd post the next chapter a little earlier than I initially thought. No characters, besides one, belong to me. You'll know as soon as you see her, and no, she's not a main character or anything. Just... just keep reading. Thanks for all the reviews, by the way, they make my day. :D

To Jet Set Radio Yoyo: ...There won't be any more Omi/Jack moments for a LONG time... but I hope you keep reading anyways. ^-^;

**Chapter One: The Visits: Clay**

I wandered around my house, since I have nothing to do now that... well, that I'm out of the game.

Life seemed so BORING now. It's like... colors seemed dimmer, noises sound all mumbly, days just... run together...

All in all... very uneventful.

Well, except for when... They kick in. My stupid powers. They always come out at the worst times. When I do my homework, my pen flies out of my hands. When I mend my robots, their parts seem to crawl away from me.

My chair hates me.

My shower's gone NUTS.

My clock won't even speak to me.

And that is why my powers suck.

ALL the time.

I sat down on the cushy couch that me and Omi watched cartoons on last week. The only thing I could do was dwell on what had been, and sigh. I even tried to flip through the channels. There was absolutely NOTHING on! My video games... I had already beat them all. My videos? I was SO bored with ALL of them already. After watching them twice this week. I put my curled hands up to my head. "UGH! There's NOTHING to DOOOO!!!" I flopped down fully onto the couch, and covered my eyes with my goggles.

I hope the monks are as bored as I am.

Speaking of whom... I heard a knock on the front door, and I'm sure I heard a grunting noise behind it.

"Coming, coming..." I said, grabbing my boots and slipping them on.

But when I opened the door, I wasn't expecting who I saw.

If that even makes sense.

Earlier that day...

"It sure is diffr'nt... without...." He paused. He couldn't go on, but he didn't want to just deny the absence of a villain they had known for so long.

Did I even count as a villain anymore?

Of course I did... No, wait, NO! I don't! I'm a nothing! I--just pretend I'm not here. Even though I am here, just...just the story teller, though. I'm JUST here to tell the story.

That's all.

Kimiko patted his arm. "Oh, don't worry, Clay. I bet he'll be back any time now, yelling about how much he wants to take over the world and stuff." Clay half smiled, and continued searching the grass for the new Shen-Gong-Wu.

It was weird, this one barely showed up on the radar--I mean, scroll. They could see that it was special. It probably was. Not that I cared. Because I didn't. It was just that...

Something weird's happening. I felt it activate before it actually did. There's something strange about THIS Shen Gong Wu.

And I'm sure the monks knew that. They found it, of course, not too far from where the cowboy was standing, and at that time, the dragon, Dojo finally decided to say something smart. "Hey! Those... I know what they are! They're the Kratos Blades! I... don't know what they do... But I know what they are!" They looked kind of old, and fairly short. Modeled something like hook daggers, but wider, and with a bit of a forked tip... Old... Very old looking. Still shiny, though, but still old. Attached to the hilts were two long chains, which looked like they could be detached at the push of a button.

Raimundo took them away from Clay, and examined them, then grabbed the chains, one for each of the two blades, and threw them out, shouting their name out. "Kratos Blades!" They swung out magnificently. I'm just glad I wasn't there, or it would be either me or one of my Jack-Bots getting slice 'n' diced. But, probably not, since they immediately withdrew, cutting his arm clean open. He hissed, and dropped the blades.

"What the--!" As his wound bled, Kimiko rushed to his side to fuss over it. "Okay, that's never happened before! Since when do Wu attack their users!?"

It took him a second, but finally, Clay caught on. "When yer not the one tha's supposed ter be usin' it!" He grabbed the blades, along with the Golden Tiger Claws, and rushed off, shouting out "Golden Tiger Claws", before vanishing into the nothingness.

Now...

"Cowboy? Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, leaning on the door's frame.

He merely shrugged and sighed. "Ah, I thought I'd visitcha. See what goes on when an evil genius retires." He scoffed, pushing his way into the house, a small satchel on his back. I shook my head and closed the door. Like it mattered anyways. Bad company beats no company, I suppose. And anyways, it's not like he'll stay long. No one ever really does.

"Well, this is it, pal. A-and don't get to comfortable. I still... have..." I stopped. But then, what was there to fear now? Not like I'd be seeing him much again anyways. "I have homework to do." The cowboy let out a loud, raucous laugh, as if it was the funniest thing in the world. I frowned, but looked up at the stairs.

Mom was out for the day, so I wasn't too worried about her. No, I was worried about the only other female in the house. The one with whom there was reason to worry. My little sister. She wasn't that much younger than me, only a year or so, but she was amazingly smart. Almost smarter than I was. NOT smarter than me, though.

But she was crazier than I was. Insane even. And don't think it's just sibling talk. Because it's not. She REALLY is insane.

Clay had begun to explore the house while my back was turned, and who even knew what he could get into if I wasn't there. "Hold on there, cowbo--"

"It's CLAY." He jumped out from a corner and startled me... which, of course, caused me to shout out. Okay, I shrieked. So sue me. "My name is Clay. Not cowboy. Yah wanna get it right, albino boy?"

I glared at him, and rolled my eyes. Like I would ever call him by his name? I hardly EVER called them by their names before, why do it now!? "Do you want something to drink?" He nodded, and followed me into the kitchen. Only to be held back by one of my arms. He gasped, and peeked forward.

"What? Who's there? Is it yer ma ag'in, Spicer?" He whimpered. Which made me smile. I mean, really, who's afraid of someone's mom? Well, actually, they all had very good reason to be afraid of her, she was kinda scary. I looked in the kitchen, looking in farther. A whip of long, dirty blond hair, and a swish of a long pink dress taunted me in front of the fridge.

She was humming, one of her favorite past times. "If you want to... I can take you... I can take you away from here..." She sang now, and, as much as I liked hearing her sing, it was cut off by the mutterings of the cowboy.

"Well, ah'll be... Who is that!?" I blinked, without looking at him, and spoke.

"My sister, Lindsey. Don't talk to her. She'll kill you." Clay blinked, and started, like he didn't believe what I had just said.

And that became evident when he asked me to repeat it.

"What didjou just say, Spicer?"

"Don't talk to Lindsey. She'll kill you." My voice held no humor, no signs of jest, but he still thought that I was kidding.

"Yeah, right." And just to rub it into my face that he thought I was utterly full of it, he tapped his nose, and pushed past me. "Now you'll see how it feels." He said, and clomped in his big heavy cowboy boots to my sister.

I knew what he was talking about, of course. The last time I ran into his little sister, which was, what, once? I was SO close to scoring... Well, that's actually a lie. I think the only thing I did was irritate everyone, and, in the end, get my robots torn apart by a bunch of sun-baked biker cow-chicks.

One of the... better trips to desert land. AKA, Texas.

By now, he was right behind her, and she still hadn't acknowledged his presence. But I knew that she knew that he was there.

Did you catch all that? Go ahead and re-read it if you have to, it was a bit of a mouthful.

"Howdy ma'am. It'sa lovely day, ain't it?" He winked back at me as I leaned, expressionless, against the door. "Sorta like you." She looked up at him, and her eyes, those icy blue eyes she inherited from my dad, pierced into his warm ones, and I swore I saw his brain freeze. She kinda has that power, even though she doesn't have any magic. Or... so she told me.

"Big brother." Her voice sounded electronic. But then, she's always sounded that way.

"Yes."

"Is this a friend of yours?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell him the rule?"

"Yes. Twice."

"He did not listen." It wasn't a question, and her eyes never left the cowboy's. Before he could ask her something probably even more stupid, however, her hand jetted out and caught him around the neck, probably catching him off guard more than anything else. "You must understand. I do not like most people. Big brother is barely tolerable."

Clay choked, and I knew that even though I wanted to help... er, that is, I DIDN'T want to help... him... Uhm... Well, either way, even if I wanted to help him, I couldn't. She would have my head on a platter, and there would be nothing the parents could say to make her sorry about it, or anything my parents could do to make it all better. At all.

Because Lindsey Spicer is insane.

Do you understand now? I wasn't joking. She. Is. Nucking. Futs.

"Gotcha... no talking... but... can't... breathe..." She continued to glare at him for a little bit longer, and I couldn't tell if she had fallen asleep with her eyes open again (Which has happened), or if she really hated him. Luckily, right before he was about to start turning colors, she let him go, and, after grabbing her drink, walked out, as calm as a leaf on a tree on a windless night.

I walked (okay, more like jogged) up to him and helped him into a chair while he tried to regain his breath. And then, I began to tell him the story. "When she was little, Lindsey was born silent. Everyone thought her lungs were damaged, or something was really wrong. Then, one night, when they had her in the nursery, they heard a baby crying. They knew then that Lindsey COULD cry, but she would only cry when she REALLY needed something, and no one attended to it in a timely manner." I got him a glass of water, which he downed in a few seconds, and sat down with my own glass as well.

"They said she was born with a sharp internal clock. On the dot, everything on time." I smiled. "Including bathroom functions." Clay raised an eyebrow, but stayed quiet, so I continued. "They found out that her brain had developed as fast as mine had when I was little, and that her brain cells worked so fast in the comprehension levels, that her social skills didn't have time to form."

Clay nodded. "Is that why she attacked me!?" He asked, his voice more than a little upset and hurt.

"Yes and no. Yes because she doesn't like anyone she doesn't know talking to her. Well... she just doesn't like anyone she doesn't know period. But no, because she doesn't have to attack people. She just does. The doctors haven't figured that part out yet. Sometimes, while she's attacking you, she'll fall asleep where she stands. No one's figured that one out either."

I took his glass and rinsed it out, depositing it gently into the dish washer. Everything was so clean now that I stayed at home most of the time. Just because my room was a mess, didn't mean the rest of the house was to be that way. Besides, I like cleaning. I walked out of the kitchen, the cowboy walking slowly in my wake. "Waita second... Spicer, where're we goin' now?" He asked. I looked back at him and grinned, opening the window to show him what was out there. He rushed forward, eager to see what surprises lay before him.

There were yards upon yards of grassy lands, stuff he was used to, and that he was too busy chasing me to see. "Well, I'll be a howlin' coyote at noon!" I blinked. It was that sort of stuff that made me more confused than what Omi usually says. I lead him to the back, the two of us almost racing. I beat him, and pulled the door open. "I cain't believe it, all this land is yers?" I nodded, and he breathed deep in the air.

"Actually, it's my parents'. They love all this... nature-y stuff. The other house is by the sea, one is up in the mountains in the snow--" He seemed amazed as I listed off some of the other houses my parents had. "T'sall part of the whole... billionaire thing, I guess... Snotty parties, a buncha houses, big mansion... And kids with more issues than the New York Times."

He looked at me, and I busied myself by studying the ground. Issues. It seemed that we only HAVE issues. I mean... I knew I had issues. Wanting to take over the world, being albino, being insecurely anti-social, being constantly afraid... All of a sudden, I felt a push, one that knocked me off my feet. "HEY!" He was smiling, putting his satchel on the ground by his feet. I rushed after him, and he ran off into the hills of my parent's land. "No fair! Get back here!"

It was a long, fun game of tag, the likes of which I had NEVER played before. Well, that is to say, I've never played TAG before. Since I kinda... hadn't. I had no one to play with when I was younger. Or now.

No, wait... that was a lie. I had played with Omi just yesterday. And here I was today, playing tag with the cowboy! I rushed to the patio, and tapped it smugly. "There. I'm safe, I told you I knew how to play this game." He rushed up behind me and stole a chair to catch his breath.

"So y'all ARE used tah playin' this game, then, Spicer? I don't suppose you did with yer estranged sister..." I half smiled, but it was falling the more he spoke. "I thought YOU were crazy, she's more far gone than a--" But he never got to finish. I interrupted him.

"Stop it. Just stop talking. Right now." He looked so confused, but I didn't care. "Look, my sister's crazy, we both know that, but I didn't tell you that so you could mock her and make fun of her, and compare her to weird stuff. I don't think you understand, cowboy, you're not the one. You don't have any right to pick on her, no matter what I say, and nothing's gonna change that!" He looked ashamed of himself, that was for sure. But I wasn't done. "The way that Lindsey is... is how she's gonna be for forever. And even if I had a choice, or a Shen Gong Wu to change her, or for ALL the Shen Gong Wu in the world... I wouldn't change her one bit. Because... uhm... that's what brothers and sisters... well, do. They accept each other."

I helped him up, and was about to tell him to leave, before I heard a small voice by the door. "Big brother."

I looked back at her. "Yes." The standard first answer, what I was always taught to say when talking to her.

"No. Jonathan. What you say... it is true." I remained silent, since she didn't ask a question. "You accept me as I am. Why wouldn't you change me?" I rushed up to her, and patted her head, something I knew she sort of liked.

Some times. This time...

It was okay.

"Because. I've come to terms with the way you are. And changing you would mean that I'd have to get used to some OTHER weird form of you. Do you know how hard that would be for me!?" I asked. Sure, I was joking, but she didn't laugh. She never laughs. So... I could possibly be ahead.

Then again, she could kill me.

She didn't. She just nodded, and started walking back inside. I smiled. For her, that was like her hugging me and telling me she loved me. But she never said-- "Friend of Jonathan." We both turned. "Big brother is... very exceptional. And he is a good person. If you truly are his friend, then you shall except him, too." She went inside, humming some new song. I watched her go, and I knew that the cow-- Clay, was watching me again.

"She made me do it." I knew he was going to ask, so I elaborated. "She made me have the make up, you know. When we were little, she kept thinking I was a vampire. And I scared her. It was one night, when she watched a real scary movie. She thought I was one of them, and I didn't realize she was awake... I went to get something to eat, and to check on her, and when she saw me... She screamed so loud." I felt my voice cracking, but I didn't care. "The next morning, I told her that I wanted to show her, that I was normal... And she drew this on me." I pointed to the small half-crescent on my cheek. "She said it made me look human, and..." I laughed. "I have yet to understand why.

I wiped my face hurriedly, and turned back to Clay, who was watching me with awe. "Y'know Spicer... If I didn't know better... I'd say you have th' makin's of a misunderstood hero." I grinned, and rubbed the back of my neck. "OH! I almost fergot. This is fer you!" He lifted his satchel, and pried it open, and took out the Kratos Blades. I blinked.

"You're kidding me."

"Nope."

I turned to go back inside, slightly fed up. "I told you, I'm done. I actually have to give back the rest--"

"Don't!" I leaned my head back to give him a bored look, while he stuttered trying to explain himself. "Dangnabbit, Spicer, you belong in this world! Not one with them books o' yers! Jus' because you got knocked down a couple a' times--"

"By YOU! You and your friends, and now you wanna be all buddy-buddy with me."

"Because yer one a' us! Yah used yer powers, you know it--"

"I DO NOT HAVE POWERS!"

"Spicer..." He actually started laughing. "You just don' get it. Yer such a whiner."

"I AM NOT A WHINER!" I stomped my foot, and several chairs around me floated up and dropped. I dropped my arms and eyelids. Great. I just proved BOTH to be right.

Hopefully he didn't realize... "Toldja so." Go. Freakin'. Figure. Why am I fighting this so hard? I've never fought for anything in my life, why fight for... wait a second. Of course! I was fighting for my LIFE! That's why I didn't want to let down.

But... would joining them actually COST me my life? Or for that matter, anything? It wasn't as though I never considered it. I mean, of course I thought about joining them, I've always kinda thought about having powers. Wind would be kinda fun. Fire might be nice, it would come in handy for barbecues. And Earth, though it sounds rocky (I love puns.), it would make moving things somewhat faster. Water seems like a good plaything, too. I'd be awesome at pool parties.

But my power... who'd ever want METAL as a power? The control of almost everything sounds great, but in reality, when you have NO control of it whatsoever... It turns into a MASSIVE pain in the butt.

I found something being SHOVED into my hands unwillingly. I looked down at it. Them. The Kratos Blades. I was about to shout that he should take them back when the chains began to wiggle and shake around my legs. "Wh-what the--?" They clattered and banged as they rose to wrap around my arms. Again... I screamed. Though... it wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be. They latched on tight and glowed a bright red before turning black. "Huu-uuh. Well, that's a nice touch..." I shook the chains at Clay, in a slightly threatening manner.

Clay raised an eyebrow, then turned and gestured to the empty plains that were my backyard. "So? Test 'em out. I wanna see what they can do." I swung the chains so that they uncoiled, and was about to use them (It was tempting), when I started to think about it. But then... I grinned. When did I ever really think these things through? And, for that matter, why on earth should I start now?

I raised my fists, and felt a strange strong power rushing through my veins. It felt... new... but familiar at the same time. I used whatever martial arts skills I possessed to swing the heavy blades backwards and up. "Kratos Blades!" They glowed red, and moved into a graceful arc above my head.

Before I knew it, it was like I was dancing (which sucked, because I hated to do it, or even think about it.), twirling, spinning, and jumping into each attack, the blades lighter than feathers. When I had finally flipped and landed, the blades landing with a gentle clank before shooting right back into my hands, I felt-- rather, I knew-- that I was FAR from being out of the game.

Damn. I was so CLOSE! SO close. Why does the world HATE me so much? Or would that be like? Sage advice, dude. 'Anything that can go wrong, will.' So far, everything that could go wrong has happened. It was all his fault. Or... was it Karma? Chi? Oh well. I'll play it safe and curse them all. CURSE YOU ALL!

Yeah...

Curse you all.

I slumped to the ground, throwing down the blades. "Yeah... all of them. J-just... curse 'em... all." I brought my knees up to my chin, and curled my arms around them. "You don't get it. I dedicated my life to being evil, and taking over the world. And when I finally go to give it up," I looked up at his towering form, his hat shadowing the rest of his face. "You want me back, just on a different side. Why aren't you afraid that--"

"That y'all're gonna turn on us?" I nodded, though, don't get me wrong, I hated the way he said it. "Course we are, Spicer. In fact, I reckon if Kimiko'd gotten her way, I wouldn't be here right now, talkin' to you. But that don't mean I ain't gonna give yah a second chance." He extended his hand to help me up. A sign of kindness and friendship I wasn't ready to accept.

No. That I didn't want to accept. I swiped away his hand and stood on my own. I turned back to look at him, and got a faceful of a surprise.

I still had the Kratos Blades in my hands. And Clay was hunched over in agony, one hand clutching his wrist, and one loud, terrible holler of pain issuing from his mouth.

But I... I looked down at him, my eyes wide with terror... I knew I put down the blades... I'm SURE I did.

"No... no, I... I didn't mean... I didn't want--" I reached down to help him, when I heard another voice, this one more shrill than the others I had heard today. Just great.

"Clay!" It was Kimiko, who had jumped from Dojo and rushed between me and the Earth Dragon to help him. "Get away from him, Spicer, you creep!" I frowned and crossed my arms, but backed off.

"Psh. My pleasure. I didn't ask him to be here anyway." Kimiko wrapped his wrist in a sloppy bandage, and led him back to their dragon transport.

On their way past me, Kimiko shot me a dirty look that was CLEARLY meant to kill me on that... tried and true premise: If looks could kill.

But Clay... that dumb cowboy was always one sandwich short of a picnic. He walked past and said quietly, "It'll be alright, pardner. You just keep trainin'."

I threw down the Kratos Blades, which didn't do much, since they just sprung back up and onto my arms.

You know what?

Just curse everything.

Damn you Chi.  
Damn you Karma.  
Damn you world.  
Damn you sky.  
Damn you trees.  
Damn you grass.

This might take a while.

...Oh boy. What did I do!?


	3. Kimiko's Visit

A/N: So, something keeps happening to my internet, but I've got it's number now. It's like... it always goes off after midnight, so I got it now, and I should be able to keep tabs on everything. I'm pretty indecisive about doing this, but for right now, I'm gonna give it a try. If you love it, hate it, whatever, let me know.

So here's Jack Spicer to answer your reviews about the last chapter.

...Is this thing even on? It is!? Sweet. Welcome, peons, to the Jack Spicer variety hour! ...Well, that's what I'M calling it. ...Apparently, we're not calling it that. Fine. Here are some reviews by you people about my life. Why you want to read about my life when you could probably read some fluffy throw up mess about Raimundo and Kimiko getting together is beyond me, but you won't hear me complaining.

Jadebell: Of course you do. And of course I am! And metal powers DO suck! That's not to say I can't control them, because I can... Shut up! And the losers and I are NOT friends. We're just... not enemies.

Ruby-Blade-Princess: What is up with all these warped names? I mean, even the chick publishing this has a freak-ass name. Halfhuman, who would name themselves that!? Ah, the Kratos Blades... I actually looked these up. Ever played the game "God Of War"? You should check it out, it's tight. The main character is Kratos, who is the illegitimate son of Zeus. That guy's such a pimp! Even though he married his sister... sicko. What was I saying? Oh yeah, well, there is some truth to the legends, and apparently, he was a real person, and his blades are real too. Which are what I'm holding. Want to know more? Do a freakin' Google search!

I don't feel like doing anymore, so I'll see you next time. I'm outie. Peace!

A/N: I don't own anything here, at all, except for Mom. If you don't like the Jack Spicer Speaks thing, or if you DO like it, PLEASE let me know. I need the feedback people.

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Chapter One: The Visits: Kimiko

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I just wanted a quiet afternoon, alone, at my house.

But my mom found me instead.

And she decided it was time for a... wardrobe change. This is the reason I can't stand being at my house sometimes. It SUCKS! Especially when mom wants to show me off to her snooty friends. And I end up as eye candy for a bunch of girls either way too young for me, way too old for me, or waaaay too ugly for me.

Hey, I may be a loser, but I shouldn't have to settle, right!?

Right.

Right. I seem to be saying that a lot.

Riiiight. Maybe I should find a different word...

Affirmative.

Eh, I'll work on that later.

Meanwhile, mom is struggling to pull me through a few of her favorite stores. And I get to carry stuff. Yaaaay. I swear, if I could fool my mom with one of my bots, I would. But I'm not allowed to take them out of the house when I'm with her, because they're embarrassing!!

Well, I say... not really.

I like shopping for computer stuff. All of it... Video games. Robot parts. Software. Computer chips... That was the good stuff, you know?

But no. I'm stuck with Versacci. Gucci. Gap. Oh, lord. Victoria's Secret. Mom said that I needed to learn about bra's if I ever hoped to get a girlfriend. And the chicks in there were looking at me like I was some sort of pervert! Then again, they're all valley girls who think the only guys who matter are the ones who own a jeep, who are loaded, and who look good. All the time. Not just when my-- I mean, their mom dresses them.

So, I fit the bill, today. Blue baggy jeans, and a black shirt with the words "Led Zeppelin" on them. Hey, I have a thing for the old school music. And... Yeeaaah, I guess I looked good. I look better in my jacket and goggles though, though.

My mom went to go pay (Which meant she'd be in there for another ten minutes, hopefully), and I sat outside, handing the packages over to the carriers. 'The biggest, most posh mall in the world.' I thought. It was big. And posh. I mean, everyone who came in HAD to have a car to be valeted. And they'd give you a roll of number tickets. Those would be stuck on your bags, and taken to your car by PROFESSIONAL carriers. I rolled my eyes, and lay down on the bench.

"I swear, if I have to do this EVERY day... I'm going to kill myself." I mumbled to... well, the fish in the fountain, I guess. Or, I supposed I was alone, but I guess I wasn't. Since, the next thing I know, some purple haired chick sat next to me.

"Really? Now THERE'S something I'd like to see."

I chuckled to the girl. "Yeah, well, thanks for THAT vote of confidence, babe. I'm sure, though, I won't HAVE to off myself." I put my arm over my eyes, and sighed. Now, I thought that I was the international signal for 'Leave me alone. Now.'

But I guess not, huh? "So then what ARE you gonna do, huh?" There was nothing TO do, really. I mean, other than sit through it. She seemed to read my mind, and spoke again. "What ARE you here for?" I yawned and shrugged.

"I guess... just... I dunno, shopping with my mom. Kinda lame, though." To my surprise, she shook her head.

"Actually... I think it's sweet. Considering." I looked around. What did she mean by...

And that's when I nearly jumped out of my skin and died. I hadn't noticed, not once, that WHOLE time I was talking to her, what she looked like. She could have been ugly for all I know, and then I would have some crazed stalker girl thinking I was in love with her cuz I talked to her.

Hey, it could happen. Stranger things HAVE happened. Well, to me, at least. Like right now. The girl I was talking to--

"K-Kimiko!?" She smiled down at me, but it wasn't one of those 'I'm so happy to see you' smiles. It was one of those 'I hate you, but I'm going to make it SEEM like I'm pleasant, just because I'm surrounded by people' smiles. "Wh-wh-what are y-you doing h-here?"

She grinned a little and then turned back to watch passers-by. I looked into the Victoria's Secret. Mom was trying stuff on now. Nice. I turned back to see that Kimiko was staring at me, just like the other girls in the store were. Like I was some sort of pervert.

I sat up quickly, and stared back, shaking my head to emphasize the fact that she never answered my question. "My papa is taking me to a party tonight, so I have to pick out something NICE. But he never said I had to WEAR it to the party, so I'm getting a few nice things, and then some normal stuff. Mr. Sukiyaki is taking it to the car." I rolled my eyes yet again and turned away from her. Of course, she'd have a body guard. At least one. But why THIS mall. And this party? It sounded kinda suspicious. Wasn't she supposed to be all... monk-like and be in hiding, or something?

Little did I know, while I was SO busy thinking and staring off into space, Kimiko was examining my outfit. I turned around to tell her that I was leaving, and there she was, eyes glued to my frame. I frowned, and coughed, letting her know that I was right here. She, however, continued to stare. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Uhm..." I looked down at my clothes. Oh yeah, they've never seen me normal before. "Because my mom said so." I said, giving her the short version. She nodded her head, her purple pony tail swinging behind her head before she stood up.

And, after I thought about it a little, she kinda looked nice too. She was wearing that one outfit I saw her in when I went to Tokyo. Stripes. Purple. Green. Skirt. Boots. Girl stuff, you know. Too much to be described. "I was wondering," she started, before half walking off to meet some big guy on a walky talky. "Because... you look nice."

Woah.

Was that a COMPLIMENT?

Before I could ponder this thought for very long, mom FINALLY came out of the store, and handed me a few boxes. "Thanks, sweetie. Come on, time to get you an outfit for tonight!"

Joy upon joys.

I waved goodbye to Kimiko, a shock to her AND me, and went with my mom to the nearest clothing store. It was a travesty, to say the least. I mean, every time she would hand me something to try on, the hanger would fly to the doorknob, suddenly magnetized. My mom would ask me what was going on, and I would just say that I was throwing a temper tantrum... I don't think she believed me.

A few more purchases later, and we were home bound. Finally.

Back in the lair of... normalcy...

I should be getting ready for this stupid thing my mom's making me go to, but I'd rather not. I mean... a turtle neck... taupe colored. Along with this rustic brown colored tux thing... It's not as BAD as a tux, but pretty damn close.

And I absolutely hate-hate-hate it. Not just ONE hate. Like, a BUNCHA hate. If there were any other way to describe it, trust me, I would have. But.. nothing more to say than...

I hate it.

I found myself outside, soon after I had gotten dressed. The grass was cool, so I sat down, and the sun was starting to go down... so I watched it. We wouldn't be leaving for the... whatever it was for about an hour yet. My sister could have gone, but... she wasn't the type for leaving the house. Y'know, with the whole... she hates people thing.

Prodigious.

...Ugh... Why is this so hard?

Anyway.

Still an hour to kill. Nothing to do for a whole hour... Nothing... nothing...

Nothing? I looked down at my small book bag, mom agreed to let me bring it, as long as I didn't pack it with mini-bots. Like I WOULD do that.

...I totally would do that. Pulling the zipper down, I looked inside. My PSP, and a couple of really awesome games. Also...

I pulled them out. My Kratos Blades. They were starting to grow on me, I remember yesterday, I was just messing around with them, and it was like they were acting of their own accord. We had an understanding, they and I. Well... I mean, as much of an understanding as a person can with an... inanimate object... As weird as that may sound. It's like...

The blades clinked and clanked against each other. It was like they could hear me... or see me. "Hey guys. Behave, you're just in here in case I get bored. Which is a biiig definitely gonna happen." Great. Now I was talking to swords. Ah well, at least they... kinda responded by shivering again, and glowing a deep blue. And I chuckled. They were developing a personality of their own.

Leaning back on my elbows, and then finally resting the back of my head on my hands, I began to think. Speaking of which, I was beginning to develop a new personality. I could sense it. I mean, I was even speaking differently, it was definitely... far out.

Far out? Okay, so just because I was speaking differently didn't mean it was better.

Forty-five minutes later, I was still bored, but we were on the way to the... thheee... where was I going?

"Hey, mom, where are we going?" She took a quick sip of some weird mint tea that she always had around her, before acknowledging me.

"Mmm. I love it. Oh, the thingy. It's just a little party for a friend of mine, right?" So THAT'S where I got it! It was hereditary. "When we get in there, it's a special entry, sweetheart."

I looked up at her, a little flabbergasted. "Special?" I think I'm going to stick to saying right for a while. It's not that much of a bad thing, really. Right?

Oh yeah. That's the one.

"You have to escort me in."

"WHAT!?" No one said ANYTHING about an escort in, and... whu-whu-whatever.

And mom gave me that look, that one 'Dear heart, you're so naive.' look. "You. Have. To--"

I frowned and almost shouted. "I KNOW what you said, mom! What do you MEAN!?" Okay, maybe I did shout. And as a response, she smacked me a little on the cheek. Not enough to hurt, really, but enough to let me know she would do it again if she had to. "Oooww. Sorry. I'm sorry. What did you mean, mom?"

"I mean," She started, sitting back down and reclining in front of me. "That you have to take my arm, and guide me into the room. Then, the announcer will... well, announce my presence."

That's when I couldn't suppress a grin. "Awful old school, ain't it?" she smiled mischievously at me.

"Yes, it is. He's a bit stuffy, that's why. So proper speech, if you DON'T mind." I shrugged. No skin off my back. "And that will be that. You'll be free to... mingle." I knew what she meant. She was hoping that I would meet a nice girl, get her to go on a date with me, and become one of those famous celebrity couples. Y'know, I sometimes have the feeling she only does this to set me up. But then...

We pulled up to the giant castle. Definitely old school. The chauffeur got out and helped mom out of the limo. I got out on my own, securing my small backpack, making sure it was zipped up all the way. Not that I WANT to meet anyone, but if I DID perhaps meet someone, I don't think they'd be cool with a guy who kept blades in his bag.

"Ready? Okay, just grab my arm." We linked arms, and I put a hand on her forearm, which was pretty big, and led the way inside, having to listen to her blabber on about everything. Nowadays, I just tend to ignore her.

I walked into the main room, and into that world of people I hated to have to impress. And, as if on cue, they "Oohed" and "Ahhed" while I escorted "The fabulous Mrs. Spicer" (The announcer's words, not mine.) into the room. She was wearing this really slinky-silky-smooth gold dress that wasn't made of ENOUGH gold for how much she paid for it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate the price. I hate the dress. Not the fact that it clung to her body, or the fact that it reveals her figure because of it.

It's because of the fact that even I, her son, who is NOT a pervert in anyway, I SWEAR, (At least not towards my mom), cannot help but notice the amount of cleavage showing out of the top of her dress. The top, which ended down at her NAVEL! It's like it was freakin' painted on! I think most everyone is with me when I say... EW! Not that my mom is bad looking. It just... isn't fun for her son to see her wearing these kinds of things on an almost daily basis.

It's like it was MADE to show off... no, I can't even BRING myself to think about it. Sick and wrong. In more ways that one. I think the only reason this bugs me--mom is now going off to drink some champagne, and is surrounded by GUYS even as I think this--is because my dad ISN'T dead. And she's acting like he is.

Dad's in Iraq. Since he's all... Army General whatever. He's been there for three years, and he'll be there for one or two more, I think. Now, mom's pretty impatient. She's waited a month, and got bored. She'd never do anything... REALLY rash. She just likes have a LOT of attention.

So she decided to go all.. famed starlet and flirt with any good-looking guy she could find. And she keeps telling me--as if I need reassuring (I DO!)-- that she's "Just playing". I just hope that she knows what she's doing.

Anyway. Setting the scene for yah: Mom, flirting. Dad, on duty. Me... as is. It can't be helped that I'm a boring teenager with nothing to say. And as the party roared on, with no end in sight, I found myself thinking... 'This evening is going to be spent with me, my Kratos Blades, and I.'

Outside, it was fairly warm, and no one was out there. So it made a pretty good hiding place. I smiled and rushed out, jumping the banister to land close to the garden. "Yes!" I cheered, pretty much ripping open my bag. The blades practically jumped into my hands, and I discarded the bag under the stairs. It was actually really nice out.

"What... are you doing, Jerk-bot Spicer?" I turned quickly, nearly giving myself whiplash. I grabbed my neck and looked over still just in time to see Kimiko descending down the stairs. And I hate to say that she actually looked amazing.

Why does she always just appear out of nowhere? "I... uh... was just... ah... Practicing." She nodded, her hair was in one giant ponytail behind her head, and bangs in the front. Her dress was short, velvety and dark with purple. I guess that was her theme for the day. Finished off with some ankle length dress boots. I'd have to say, it was surprisingly really nice. "Wait... what are you doing here? THIS was the party YOU were talking about?"

"Yup. Papa ended up taking me to his friend's party. I always think it's just some big set up, though." I shrugged it off.

"Parents. Whatcha gonna do, y'know? Right?" I elbowed her a couple of times, in that whole 'Buddy-Buddy' kind of way the rest of them are so interested in getting me to act. She... wasn't exactly going for it. On the contrary, she was glaring daggers at me. I know if I wouldn't have backed up right then, she would have gone all SORTS of fire dragon hot burning painfulness on me. "Relax. I'm not... I mean... I'm just playing! Geez." I eased up, and started swinging the blades back and forth, causing her to back up a little.

I coughed, and was about to start up a new conversation, but she talked instead. "Are you REALLY planning on keeping those things?" she asked. I looked at Kimiko, and shrugged. "So then, what ARE you gonna do with 'em?" Another shrug. "Well, you at least have to pick a side, which one!?" Shrug again. "Y'know, you can't just answer everything with a shrug!" I looked around, and just... shrugged again. She growled and stomped her foot at me.

And, I couldn't help it... I laughed my head off! While she looked at me incredulously. "S-Sorry, just... you're funny when you're mad!" Her frown deepened. "Hilarious, actually." Another growl and frown, which was making her look kinda funny. N-not funny ha-ha, funny I'm-gonna-blow-your-freakin'-head-off.

Wait... that didn't come out right.

"Funny, eh!?"

"H-hey, j-just take it easy..."

"So I'm some sort of RIOT to you?"

"N-now just... cool your jets--"

"Nuh-uh, I'm the FIRE dragon, cool is NOT... MY... ELEMENT!!!" As she got her fiery hands warmed up, and I screamed probably my last girlish scream of my LIFE, something really bizarre happened. And you'll never guess with what!

Go on, guess.

Did you guess? Okay, it was my Kratos Blades! They flew towards the fire that was enveloping her hands, and started spinning around them. Kimiko was screaming her head off... no, wait... that... was me again. My bad. So since the Blades decided to go all freaky with the fire stuff, I decided to close my eyes until it was over. Only, I couldn't make my eyes shut. I just kept watching it... watching it move, and swirl and twirl, all on its own. Well, actually, their own, since they were spinning separately. And then, they rose up into the air, spinning up over my head! Finally, they crashed down into my hands, even though they were still on fire. And when they were there... it didn't even feel hot.

It was just... normal. AND THEY WERE STILL REALLY ON FIRE!

"Okay... what... is that thing doing?" I started to shrug, but I remembered that ticked her off, so I answered this time.

"I-I-I-I..." Okay, maybe I should actually try words. "Iunno." The blades shivered in response to my voice, and then extinguished themselves quickly. "I-I mean, they-- they've never done that before. Then again, they've never been around fire before."

She considered them, and began speaking her thoughts. "Well, you ARE, as much as I HATE to think about it, a Xiaolin Dragon... maybe your weapon reacted to my flames... disgusting." She frowned and walked away from me as I fumbled with my blades and tried to put them back into my bag. I stood up as she was shivering, and grinned. Great. Just like a stupid girl to wear something impractical. …Unpractical? Im… hm. Impractical. Let's just go with impractical. Whatever, I haven't done my homework yet. I shrugged off my jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"There. Y'know, there's a weather channel for a reason, Kimiko." She glared at me for a second, and then, it faded, and she said the one thing I never thought I'd hear her say.

"Thanks."

I stopped mid-step and thought about what she just said. Even though it was only one word, it was sort of troubling. She... rather, no one had ever said... no one was ever really thankful for what I ever... I mean... Now, I was stuttering. Which was stupid of me, cuz it was in my mind. I shrugged and managed to utter out a short "No problem." Even though I had stopped talking, she was still staring at me like I was some sort of weird... space thing. "What!?" My voice cracked. Could this day just get any more perfect?

"You. One minute you're a robo-dork with a take-over-the-world fetish, and the next, you're like... like a goth teen Ken doll." Great. I'm being compared to non-realistic Barbie doll accompaniments. "Is this some sort of new evil plot?" Well, let's check the box, shall we? Mmm… nope, evil plot not included. The way she said it, it was like she was joking, but if it was serious, that was okay too.

And I'M the freak?

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm going to kill you with kindness. Prepare for my candy attack! Be careful, they're healthy!" I turned the other way to walk up towards the castle thing while she laughed at me, but I didn't really mind. On the contrary, it was one of the few times I could care less if she was laughing at me, or... wait...

Maybe, just for this one time, she wasn't laughing at me. Maybe she was laughing... WITH me?

"Thank you, Jack." I didn't turn around to look at her. I couldn't. It wasn't like she said that to me on a daily basis. Or as if ANYONE said that to me, for that matter. "Jack?" I nodded, letting her know I heard her, before she started talking again. "Listen, when I first saw you here today, I got angry. You... you can't be one of us. You're a bad guy." I scoffed. I wasn't exactly a bad guy... more like an anti-hero. "Even though you're not really a 'BAD' guy." She said, while I nodded. There it was. "You're just annoying." Well... there was no reason for THAT... "But now I realize that... I dunno, maybe it's supposed to be this way. I mean, heck, if Rai, a completely bad seed could go from being evil to being the leader of the group... I mean, you could be on our side, easy. As long as you don't do anything stupid." She said, winking at me. Even though being stupid was more of a…

Hang on…

Wait... she WINKED at me? That... wasn't just an illusion, was it? No... no, that wasn't possible. I just watched her, staring at me, huddled inside of my jacket. And that's when I think I said the stupidest thing I could ever say in my entire lifetime.

"Do you want to dance?"

Yeah. I know. It wasn't exactly the thing to say when everything was going so well. And as soon as I said it, and I saw that weird look on her face, I knew I should just take it back, take it ALL back--

"Yeah, okay."

Wait... what?

"Wait... what?"

Kimiko laughed. "I said... yes. I would like to dance with you." Really? Well, then. I grabbed her hand and gently steered her to the balcony, where the music could still be heard gently, but it was where people weren't. My mom always thought that I couldn't dance, and I wanted to keep up the charade.

As soon as I swung her away from me, all the lessons, the rhythms, the steps came flooding back to me. It was as if Clumsy Jack (trademark) had left the building, and Super-Cool, Coordinated Jack (patent pending) had taken over. My jacket fell from her scrawny shoulders right before I had her back in my arms again, to rock her back and forth against my chest. "Well, well... the tech-nerd can actually dance. Any more surprises?" Tohomiko was shrewd, but she got into the steps quickly, which was all the better for me, as I didn't mess up as much if she was keeping up. I flung her from me again, and spun her around, her dress creating a sort of cupcake effect around her, her hair flaring out to join in the party.

I pulled her close again, and was surprised when she didn't do anything as my hand hit the small of her back. "Too many more, Miss Tohomiko." Okay, who was I, and what had I done to myself!? My voice didn't even sound right. And it was like... like...

The music stopped just in time, since I dropped my hands and stepped away from the Japanese girl. She looked at me questioningly, but I just bowed, and picked up my stuff. I was getting in WAY too deep. First Omi, then Clay, then Kimiko? This couldn't be happening, and I needed to get back to normalcy. Whatever that was. When I turned to leave, I heard her call out to me, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want to. I didn't want that lifestyle, or that responsibility, or the life lessons of the day... All of it seemed really... REALLY...

Fulfilling? No, no of course not. Even though that was the first word that popped into my head. No, definitely not fulfilling. How fulfilling could it be, after all, to save people and things on a daily basis, and be thanked for it constantly, and have friends, and ward off evil, and be the hero, and be liked, and to get better at something you're already good at, but could be the best at...

...Nope. Not fulfilling at all. Even as I get into the limo by myself to wait for my mother, who's probably not going to come out for another half-hour or so, I would never EVER think about such a thing, or how fulfilling and rewarding and just plain made of awesome it would be.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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Again, review, and thanks for reading another chapter. It's been real, see you all next time I update.


	4. The Return: Raimundo and Wuya

A/N: After a break of about a month, I'm back with another chapter of Jack Spicer's life. He's been nice enough to let me into his world of weirdness, and share it with you! Though, I think he just likes the attention. Anyways, lots of reviews to go through, and I've mentioned this in the summary, but the warning may change. I'm actually pretty sure it will, unless you people don't mind Jack swearing a bit more? He's getting into a comfort zone, so he doesn't mind it, and I could possibly lighten it and cut it out... tell me (and Jack) and let us know before the next chapter, and I'll see what we can do.

Okay Jack, your turn.

Why does it always take so long to get to me? Why can't we just start this off as... "The Jack Spicer Show"? Doesn't that make more sense? ...Right, right, the reviews. Of course. Let's see, what'd'we got here...

Jet Set Radio YoYo: You again? Gah, don't you have anything better to do than read about me and my awesome adventures? ...Answer, no. No you don't. Have a day with Raimundo, eh? Hey, as long as there's churros, am I right? Who doesn't like churros? Though, in all honesty... You know what, I'm not gonna answer this. You'll see soon enough!

Cupid'sAddiction: Why do people always feel the need to hug me!? Stop it! I don't like people touching me, I could have sworn I said that before! Even IF it's over the internet, or in your mind. You hear that? Stop mind-molesting me! And my mom has never cheated on my dad, what story are YOU reading? Are you sure you're getting this down right, Scribbling Peon?

Silent Shadow Kasai: PAIR ME UP!? What is WRONG with you? I don't even know how to answer this! I just get out of the game and you think I need a commitment. Thanks a lot! I'm not saying I'm not looking... And to all of you eyeballing this and thinking "Hey, maybe if I ask nicely, the nice writer drone will put me in a Jack Spicer's girlfriend"... forget it! This is how it happened, and YOU'RE not there! No matter how cute you may be. Besides, I already have someone I like. And I'm NOT saying who it is!

I'm done with this! I'm scared and I feel slightly violated. I need pineapple and a pudding-shake. DO A GOOGLE SEARCH!

A/N: ... He'll be back next time. I hope. Erm... Hopefully he'll do more reviews next time? I don't know, he has his own agenda, so! Without further ado and mind scarring, the Scribbling Peon (IE, Me) would like to thank all the reviewers, and Jack Spicer for participating, and say that no one here belongs to me.

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Chapter Two: The Return: Raimundo and Wuya

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"JackBots... begin trial C-352, checking for amount of heat conduction and sustenance from flamethrower to KB's." I had started calling them KB's when the testing began. I needed to see what they immediately reacted to, so that, if needed, I could keep them AWAY from whatever made them go off. Which might just be... oh, fire. And water. And wind... and earth.

I slid my goggles onto my eyes, the red swirls on them vanishing and the yellow turning everything into a lemonade ocean. "Fire." The flamethrower fired towards the blades, which chains were wrapped around my forearms. Dangerous? Possibly. Effective? Most definitely. I flung the blades out from me, twining them together and forming a giant figure eight in the air... one that, with the help of the flamethrower, became engulfed in fire. I struggled to keep steady ground, but the Kratos Blades were pulling me so hard towards the heat source, I couldn't stop myself from being dragged along the concrete floor of my lab.

It had been a minute. The test was over. When the flame died, the blades hurled themselves back towards me, and it took a little bit of effort to actually catch them safely. I still cut myself, though, in the palm of my hand, destroying another fingerless glove. Great. I unwrapped the Kratos Blades and headed out of the testing area of the lab. It sort of looks like a wind tunnel, a concrete hole in the ground with fans and some fire extinguishers lined up along the wall. It wasn't easy to get this whole thing set up, though. No pun intended.

Not that I was intentionally telling you that I didn't intend to make a pun because you're not smart enough to catch it. Did you catch that? I didn't think so.

A second later, I was in the main part of my lab, the Kratos Blades on a table behind me. I opened the medicine cabinet, strategically installed close to my door. I needed to look at myself before I left my lab, or else mom would worry. Bandages, alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, that stuff in the yellow tube... string and a needle. I hated this part. But doctors... doctors freaked me out. And mom's squeamish. I took it all over to the table. "JackBots, operation lights." I muttered. They obeyed, but stayed a reasonable distance away. They knew I'd freak out if they got too close. There was a sick sort of wet plop as my glove hit the bottom of the trash can, and the sink next to the table got a quick coating of blood, diluted with water... and then came the alcohol. Not so bad, so far... until the sting of the peroxide. I hate that stuff the most. I hissed as soon as it hit my skin, and it hissed back, as if challenging me. Not like I was going to do anything about it. It had to be done. Then, there was the matter of sewing myself up. A few quick stitches later, I was putting that yellow tube stuff on... then the bandages... and a new glove.

Good as... well, as it'd ever be. I tried not to flex it so that the stitches would stay. That would halt testing for a while, undoubtedly. And that was never a good thing, testing needed to remain constant, or else it would be hard to pick up where I left off.

I hit the fridge for a quick snack... some pudding, maybe some pineapple, and a juice box. I know, it seems sorta sissy, but I can't actually handle a lot of food. It upsets my stomach. The weird part is... I had to wonder what the Losers were doing.

"Young monks... today is free training. Work on a skill you feel you need to improve on." Master Fung's voice was loud and strong over the roaring of an old waterfall behind him. Maybe he and the waterfall were the same age. Anyways, the Xiaolin Warriors went off, training in different corners of the yard, jumping, kicking... weaponing. It was all very fight-fight. Though probably not nearly Fight Club enough.

I am Jack's product placement.

And people wonder why that's my favorite movie.

Though… We're not supposed to talk about it. (First rule of Fight Club… and the second. You know what, if you don't know what I'm talking about, turn off Twilight, smack yourself for even THINKING about watching it, and find and watch Fight Club.)

It was just starting to get dark there, and Raimundo was just about done practicing his Shoku Warrior strikes, or whatever, when he stopped suddenly. It was weird to watch, one moment, he was on his back, about to spring up and attack... and the next, his hands were on the ground, his feet were on the ground, and his back was arched... but he had stopped moving. Like someone pressed pause mid-spring. And his eyes were blank too, so that added to the creepy. A split second later, someone hit play, and he fell on his butt, his arms to his side and his eyes facing forward...

Oh, I get it. He was thinking. It must have been revolutionary, because he got up, without saying a word to his worried fellow dragons, and went to that weird nifty tower that they call the Shen-Gong-Wu vault. All of a sudden, the Silver Manta Ray was soaring through the sky, sans rhyme or reason to all except Raimundo.

Isn't that a weird thing?

He stopped in the middle of a large field, and looked around, making sure he was alone before shoving the shrunken down flier into his shirt. He was, apparently, a boy with a mission.

Which was when I finally noticed him, walking towards my house from my own back yard. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Another one wanted to talk to me. And this time, I wouldn't go to him. He could come to me if he wanted to talk that badly. I leaned back in my rolling desk chair, putting the pudding and spoon on the table behind me. I wouldn't turn him away, but I wouldn't invite him in, either. I just wanted to see what was going on. Who knows, maybe he had something interesting to say.

"Yo, Spicer. Can I have a pudding cup?" ...Well... that was kinda interesting. I stood up and looked at him curiously. Really? That's what he wanted, was pudding? Okay, this was turning into something TOO weird. Too strange.

"What?" Why did all of my conversations with these guys begin with 'what'? Probably because I have no idea what is going through their heads. They should think these things through more. He repeated what he wanted, and I, being a great, big, idiot, said "Sure. Why not." Hahaha. That's just great. Now they were eating with me. What's next, a tea party?

I am Jack's sarcasm.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that. PLEASE don't take that literally, I don't really want to have a tea party with these guys. Honest! "So, Spicer. I haven't seen you at the last few showdowns. Chase showed. Wuya showed. Katnappe showed. But you haven't. Are you really done with this whole thing now?"

Nice going, Sherlock. Now tell me it's elementary, and leave. "Yup. Done for good--" Oh yeah. My little friends. The Kratos Blades started nudging at my arm, which was next to them on the table. "Oh, yeah. Uhmm..." How the heck to I explain THOSE away?

"They seem to like you." Rai laughed. That was just super. The Blades had a man-crush on me. At that point, I couldn't help laughing out loud. The whole thing was just too funny, and I wasn't taking it in properly. "Hey, man, you alright?"

I just waved my hand and looked at the Blades. "To be honest, I don't think I'm done. You know?" He just smiled at me and nodded.

"I never thought you WERE done. Just a temporary setback. Like a vacation." I looked away from him to the Blades, and realized... this was a civilized conversation. Which was cool. "I honestly thought that you were kidding at first, and then I thought that you were suicidal, and then--"

"Suicidal!?" I yelped. REALLY? Me? That goth-emo to actually think about thinking about killing myself? That, my friends, was TRUE insanity. "And people tell me that I'm the insane one. I can't even think about cutting myself for medical research, much less KILL myself."

And then, he had the gall to look shocked. "Wait... so, you've never--"

"No. I can't. It makes me sick." I did some research one time when I was eleven, on the one thousand and one different ways a person can kill themselves, and each one made me physically and mentally ill. I stopped the minute I got to number 519: Free falling from a 20 story building. At night, they added, because anything else would "...just be silly." Their words, not mine. And after that, I spent four nights awake, thinking of what a bad idea it would be to kill myself. I came up with 350.5 reasons to NOT to kill myself. Most of them were repeats, but I still have the notebook with the reasons somewhere.

Not that I had a reason to kill myself in the first place. I was eleven. I was curious, right!? "So, then... why DID you quit?" He asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, and stood up, pacing my basement.

I thought back to the day I had made the decision. It seemed so long ago, when in reality, it was just... what, three weeks ago? Maybe two and a half? The monks decided to break yet another one of my creations... that was the day BEFORE I discovered I was the Metal Dragon. I thought that if I quit, it would be better than going through this EVERY day for the rest of my life. I was down in my then lab, and decided to build one more machine. The biggest, best one I ever built. One that, even if it was destroyed, it wasn't REALLY destroyed. It just came back together, like one of those Russian puppet things. I also decided to leave it up to fate. If they could break this one, and I couldn't win this, what was the point? If I couldn't win this, I wouldn't win any other ones. Me and fate would work together on this one. I would stop fighting it. And accept its decisions. It wasn't hard to do. Just let go of any and all feelings and emotions, and see what happened.

I am Jack's emotions. And I have been set free.

The Shen-Gong-Wu was one... only semi-worth fighting for. So it didn't seem suspicious at all when I came in, guns blazing, stand to fight.

I am Jack's emotions, and I watch from above now.

The big metal monster fought valiantly for its cause, and it looked like it was about to win.

I am Jack's emotions, soaring far above Jack, free and--

Until Omi's Shimo Staff took care of it, and sliced it, right where it couldn't go back to normal anymore.

I am Jack's emotions. Never mind that last part.

I thought that was it. And then all the emotions I so carefully set free like helium balloons came RIGHT back, and I was angry, and hurt. But then I remembered... oh yeah. I can just give it up.

You nice people reading this remember what happened after that, right?

Right.

Snap back to the present, then, and onto Rai's question. Why did I quit? "I was tired of losing. Of always being considered 'That loser'. You remember." I spoke quietly, but he winced as if my voice was a whip of some sort. "Anyways, it would have made things easier. You hunt Shen-Gong-Wu, I disappear into the depths of your memory."

He looked back up at me. "Would have?" That is what I said, wasn't it?

"Yeah. Would have. As in, past tense. Now? I'm not so sure." I ran my finger along the Kratos Blades' hilt, smiling. What can I say, they've grown on me. "These guys kinda change things." Raimundo walked over to where I was, from the other side of the table, and looked down at them. They glowed a little bit, kinda white in color, and vibrated. Like a cell phone would vibrate, they just shook.

He leaned over to touch them, but, as if they were magnetized (I wouldn't doubt if they WERE), they shot over and into my hands, the hilts basically burying themselves into my palms. "Uhh... do they do that often?" Actually, now that he mentioned it, they do that more often now than not.

Another thing trying to get me to accept my so-called destiny. "A lot more now than before. Before, I could put them down. Now? Now I can't leave a room without them. And not because I love them so gosh-darn much." He smiled at me. Seems that my sense of humor is coming back. Awesome.

"Join us, Jack."

Well, didn't that come right out of the blue.

"No."

And so did that.

"Wh...wait, what?"

"Exactly." He was about to speak, when I put a hand up, and it was after he jumped backwards a foot that I realized I was still holding the Blades. I cursed, and put them down, basically having to peel them from one hand. The other hand, they released from quickly. I suppose it was because of my cut on it. "Listen, I don't know where that came from, because I'm pretty sure that you don't REALLY want me to join you. So get this through your head. I'm not going to join you. I have no reason to, and I really don't really want to." For a moment, he was stunned silent. It was kinda creepy. And then he put down the pudding cup, walked to the door.

"The next Shen-Gong-Wu that activates... can you please be there?" He said please? That's adorable. I smiled, and then just... nodded.

I am Jack's suicidal pleased surprise.

He looked immensely relieved at that fact, though I wasn't exactly sure why. As I walked him to the door, we were both quiet. It's not like there was a whole lot to say. Well, except for... "I was supposed to be training... practicing. So I came here, so that I could practice humility. But... I'm not sure that happened. I'm not sure WHAT happened." He about faced to look me in the eyes, which were careless and blank. "Though I'm pretty sure one of us learned something." And before I knew it, he was gone. A push of wind and nothing more.

That was weird.

I stayed there a little longer before shutting the door and grabbing another snack from the upstairs kitchen fridge. Mom was out with Lindsey, trying to bond with her or something like that. Which was just great, I didn't really want to deal with either of them right now. Not to be rude or mean, I just didn't feel like talking to anyone else today. I smiled, I just had a thought: What if I went to bed, and didn't wake up until the Apocalypse? No Wu, no weirdness, no worries. But I would have to get started on it right away.

Back to the basement I go!

Until... I find out that there's been another infiltration. This one nastier than the first, second, third, and forth ones put TOGETHER.

"Wuya." Gone was the boy who was scared of her, that once upon a time. Besides, I didn't have any Wu she would POSSIBLY want. "Let me guess, you want to know my favorite flavor of ice cream before you ask me to join you?"

It's rocky road.

She grinned at me, in that way only an evil, psychotic, 1500 year old hag could. "Ice cream, no. Join me... maybe." I groaned. I wasn't really in the mood for this right now. "Well, I figured, with your new powers... and this lovely new Xiaolin weapon..." She stroked the Kratos Blades, which rattled at her touch and turned a putrid green color. Doing the only thing that made sense, I rushed forward to save them, but was hindered by the witch, who blocked my way and held me still. "Jack, you should know me better than that..." She purred into my ear. Ugh, could she be anymore disgusting?

I felt something slither up my arms, and knew it was the chains to the Kratos Blades. Maybe these things were growing on me. I pulled the chains, causing the Blades to fly off the table, hitting Wuya spectacularly on the hips, slashing her. I grinned. "I should, huh. And you should get to know the new me." Okay, that was kinda lame, but I was just getting started. I jumped back and away from her, holding my weapon at my defense. "Leave, witch. I don't want you here." Sure I was scared out of my pants... but I wasn't about to let the witch win.

Just like she wasn't about to let me win. Nothing is ever that easy, is it? She grabbed me by the throat and pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws, a Wu that I was hoping she didn't have. "You're not that lucky, Jack. Not by a long shot. Let's see just what you and your new little toys can do. GOLDEN TIGER CLAWS!"

Great. Just my luck.

When I felt my throat being released and I could finally breathe normally, I looked around. And I was in a forest. That was special, on account of I had a pollen allergy. I stood up and looked around, the blades still in my hands and their chains wrapped around my wrist. Wuya was nowhere to be seen, thank goodness. It was just me, all alone again.

In a big, scary, forest...

"WUYA!!" I couldn't help it, I screamed! Well, what part of big scary forest ISN'T frightening!?

From somewhere deep inside, I could hear her evil cackling, her menacing laughter, and that sandpaper-y voice. "Poor, poor Jacky. He can't even function outside of his comfort zone." I sighed before realizing she was kinda right. I wasn't good with anything except for my bots. I closed my eyes. I was pathetic. And to think, I was going to sleep until the apocalypse. My eyes clenched harder, squeezing out a few tears. No more. I couldn't be weak anymore. I had to accept who... or what I was. And that was going to start now. The Kratos Blades wrapped themselves tighter around my wrists and held tight, as if to say that they'd be with me all the way. Consistency. I liked that. I rushed through the forest, trying to find a way out, or Wuya, or something, before I realized something was wrong...

And then I saw it. The cliff. The cliff I was about to run right over like a half witted cartoon character. …Not ME, though! I meant… I meant Wile E. Coyote, okay, shut up! I skidded to a halt, falling flat on my back. "Well... that could have been a problem." I said quietly, and to no one in particular. Well, I thought it was to no one, until Wuya made herself known behind me.

"You mean... it WILL be a problem." I felt the color drain from my face (it's gray, and gray is a color, so… yeah, gray drain.), and I didn't have to turn around to know what she was planning. She was, after all, ultimate evil. For the most part anyway. Chase was still more evil than she was.

"You wouldn't." I could barely speak, but the voice that came from my throat was deep and menacing. She must have caught onto it, because her breathing grew a little more jagged. Well, that was pretty cool, I scared her enough to affect her breathing. Too bad it didn't affect her plans. And within a few seconds, she had stomped on the unsteady tip of the cliff, and I, not even fighting it, fell.

It was about a twenty story drop... twenty stories... that would definitely kill me. And didn't I say I didn't really want to die? I didn't want to die at all... My eyes started to water, but not because of how I was feeling. I was more or less feeling determined. I wasn't ready to die. I'm not ready to die.

The Kratos Blades squeezed my wrists a little bit, again reminding me that they were there, and they weren't about to leave me. It's always nice to have a friend to depend on, even if that friend is, more or less, an inanimate object. I held the hilts tightly, and executed my plan to the best of my ability, not caring if I got hurt. I turned to face the rocky wall of the cliff, digging into the hard granite. The rock chipped and some of the pieces hit me in the face, but I didn't care at the time. What mattered was making it back on top.

I slowed down, and eventually stopped falling. Good. Now, I just needed to climb back up... I looked below me. And then above me. Too far to fall, to high to climb up, and it was starting to get dark... I braced my boots on the rock wall, and gave a cautionary pull, before I had a brilliant idea! I really was a genius, I thought, as I pulled one of the Blades free of the rock. I swung it around behind me before tossing it up into the cliff, higher than I thought it would go. I pulled on it... it was tight... and, oddly enough, getting tighter--

I screamed! It was pulling on me! The only thing I could do was swing the other one higher than the first, in a ladder effect. It hit rock as well, just as the other one was wiggled free. It was a weird game of tag between the blades and the rock. And somehow, I kinda felt like Spiderman. Which was cool, 'cuz he's totally my favorite super hero. "Spicerman, Spicerman... doing everything a Spicer can..." I reached the top of the cliff with a final fling. "Look out, here comes Spicerman!" I looked around and saw Wuya watching me with bored eyes. "Um... Yeah. That... that wasn't anything." She glared at me and then, before I even knew what was going on, she was rushing at me. It took everything I had to jump to the left, instead of behind me, where the cliff ended. I looked back, and she was getting ready to charge me again.

Alright, I was SO done with being on the defensive. I swung out one of the blades with a heavy shout, which ended up wrapping around her waist. She slowed down long enough to look at the chains before I pulled her towards a tree and let her slam hard against it. Her head snapped back and banged against it. Which, I found, was quite shocking. "Interesting..." I watched her slump onto the ground, knocked out and completely vulnerable, the Golden Tiger Claws at her side. "VERY interesting..." There was nothing else I could do... I took them. I was about to leave her, but then I remembered... That wouldn't be very nice. Even though she was evil, I'd feel like a ginormous heel if I left her.

I am Jack's stupid decisions.

I held her against my back, luckily, she wasn't that heavy. "Mmm... ugh..." She was starting to wake up... suck. I raised up the Golden Tiger Claws and called out their name, thinking about the only place Wuya could go, where she would be able to get back to Chase's mountain in mostly one piece.

The bottom of Chase's mountain.

Clever, right?

I walked through the portal, and found myself landing on the mossy ground. It was dark here, so she must have taken me somewhere really far away. Well, as far as evil plots go, coming from someone who used to KNOW evil plots... that was pretty good. I put her down on the ground, and turned to leave, but she stopped me. "It's not fair... I knew something was wrong..." I leaned in closer, since she only seemed to be mumbling to herself. "My powers... they really ARE fading... Either that, or gone..." She looked up at me with those toxic colored eyes. "How else could I lose to YOU?" The way she emphasized you... it was like she was comparing me to a pile of steaming poop. And the poop was winning. I didn't have to stand for this. The Golden Tiger Claws emitted a bright light, my subconscious telling me it was time to go home, before I did something really stupid.

"Jack..." I looked back at her form, her elbows the only thing holding her up, as her back was probably in too much pain. "Why...?"

There're only a few things to say at a time like this. "I'm not like you anymore." And that was it. I took the Golden Tiger Claws, and teleported myself home.

But not before I heard her mumble something else. "Well... I guess it's true... you are finished." I didn't turn back around. It didn't matter anymore. I set both the Wu and my weapon on the table and shook my goggles free from my hair. What did she mean by that? I wasn't finished, not by a long shot. I was just getting started.

I landed back in my basement, not a hundred percent sure of what to do next. It was going to be a long night.

There were no remnants of my prior life... my Shen-Gong-Wu hunting phase, as it were, and I wasn't sure where to begin again. Then I saw it. The Shen-Gong-Wu Radar I made that one time, when I was done with ghost Wuya. It was kinda broken, since I had trashed it when I was having issues with my Dragon of Metal power stuff. It was weird, I thought, as I got to fixing my radar. What would happen if I ended up living with the Xiaolin side? I frowned, and put my screwdriver down. They'd probably end up making me clean stuff again. But then... I picked up a small welding torch and fired it up. Then again, I was staying there on charity, so that may have had something to do with it. Then again, they may just hate me...

I could have done that for hours, but I had more important things to do. I wiped my brow and looked at my radar. It was still really broken. I looked at my hands, which were slightly callous, and thought back to when I actually broke it. My powers were acting up again, and the radar, which was three feet away, floated up in the air, and fell in the worst place... the sink, which was full of water. I couldn't save it, since that was, in itself, so very far away... So naturally, it broke. The pieces are dry by now, but I could never make them fit in exactly the same way again. My powers sucked back then... Yeah, like it was that long ago. It was, what, a few weeks ago? They sucked then, but I haven't tried using them for myself yet.

Metal welding aside... what else could I do? I pushed forward a bit of energy, and concentrated hard on the radar, keeping my thoughts on metal, and moving metal, and bending metal, and--

There was a spark of light, and an odd BZZZT frying sound. The next thing I knew, there was smoke coming out of the radar. I blew on it, knowing that the action would-- yup. There it went. The whole thing was now on freakin' FIRE! I screamed, and ran over to a glass jar, which I used to cover up the radar and the fire coming out of it. Useful for two reasons: One, it would suffocate and therefore kill the fire, and two, it would keep the smoke alarm from going off, and thereby keep the sprinklers off.

And they say I'm an idiot... Freakin' hot jar... I'm going to have burns for a week...

When the radar stopped sizzling, I removed the glass and waved the smoke away. It didn't catch on fire again, thank goodness, and it was decently dry... but the parts were either burnt beyond repair, or warped beyond use. My eyes were starting to water, so I used the back of my arm to clean them off before looking at the clock real quick. Half past two. In the morning. It was going to be a LOOONG ass night. However, since the old determination came back (I am Jack's old determination, his fire, his drive. And I'm back, baby!), I figure... why not? What could it hurt, right?

Right!?

-------------

A/N: See you later!


	5. The Return: Toni

A/N: So, because of a few irritating reviews left, I'm just gonna cut the Jack Speaks part. And I'm just going to say this: Jack Spicer is NOT the cuddly bunny everyone thinks he is. He's not pure evil, but he's not going to hold back on what he's saying to spare people's feelings, like you'll see more of in this chapter. He'll be nice at times, but there's a reason he's an ANTI-HERO. Not a good guy. Jack Speaks was something fun that I thought _**Jack**_ would say, not things that **_I_** would say or am thinking. Believe me, I'll tell you what I'm thinking if it's necessary. Just like how this story... it's from JACK'S POV. Don't get all butt-hurty because I wrote something I thought Jack would say in response to you. And the person/people I'm writing about knows who I'm talking about.

On a different note, KT, Yes I know in WESTERN culture, there are FOUR basic elements, but as they are in China, where there are FIVE, and I did RESEARCH for this, I figured it'd be okay. Maybe you should too before commenting. Thanks for your comment, though.

I'm getting irritated. Here's your next chapter.

**Chapter Two: The Return: Toni**

"He left you HERE? What a change in the Spicer boy..." Chase Young was brooding again and thinking over what happened with me and Wuya... Which he found interesting, I could tell. The why of it was a completely different matter. It wasn't like I was in his head. All I knew was that he was making a lot of weird noises. A LOT. And before you get any ideas, PERVERTS... they were weird thinking noises.

Wuya sat up on the lounge chair, struggling to actually stay up. "I felt... so weak against him, like the powers you left me have faded..." She stared hard at the back of his head until he turned back around.

"I DID have a hard time finding you in the woods... and now, your powers aren't even... ah... Oops..." He muttered the last words, as Wuya tried to search his face, scared of what he was going to say. He ignored her for a few minutes, as if he were trying to solve a hard math equation. "I think," He muttered, still trying to sense any magical energy from her, "I might have made a mistake..."

After that, he went to his Spy-Eye... Eye-Spy Room. Even if I knew what was going on there, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Not even I would believe it.

Back at the Xiaolin Temple, it was another day of training. Another day of boring, weapon swinging, loud yelling... and... a visitor? It was late in the afternoon when Dojo soared around the temple after long day of "being out". His words, not mine. And it appeared as if there was someone on his back. He landed with a practiced skill in the courtyard, the air around him being displaced. I almost wanted to be there to see the gravity defying feat, but then I remembered... Yeah. Bad Guy.

That's right, baby. I'm going back to "Jack Spicer: Evil Boy Genius". It's not a bad shtick. After all, I'm not going to go straight to good without trying these powers on the bad side! I gotta see what they can do while being evil.

The winds died down, and the Monk-heads went to see what—or who—Dojo had come back with. "Alright, kids. I'm back, and you are not going to beLIEVE what—or who—I goo-oot!" He practically sang. Maybe it was the best thing that I... wasn't there. Anyways, from behind him sauntered out that one kid I saw back in New York... Jermaine! That was his name!

Not to be confused with Flight of the Conchords' Jemaine. Cuz' he doesn't have an "r" in his name, see? Anyways...

Jermaine had just walked out, and it took Bowling-ball Head 3.57648 seconds to jump on him in a bone crushing hug around the knees... the highest part he could actually reach.

"Jermaine! It is good to see you! Have you finally come back to learn the ways of the Xiaolin with us?" Omi said, basically bouncing up and down on the small balls of his feet. He was close to pulling the bigger boy's pants down, he had to hold them up to make sure they stayed.

He laughed, rubbing his neck and prying Omi off of him, and high-fiving everyone else. "I just came to visit. I'm not sure if-" Omi's eyes widened as Jermaine tried to finish his sentence. "Well, I'll be able to stay for a LITTLE while." The Cheeseball looked pleased about this, and it was, apparently good enough for everyone else. It was then that something yelled and fell from Dojo's back, groaning angrily. "Oh, man... I nearly forgot! I brought a surprise! My cousin Toni wants to learn some stuff too, so if-" Omi just looked even more excited. It was hard, but he did.

"Oh, yes! Your cousin Toni can most certainly learn! I can teach him myself!" The little cueball was so excited, in fact, that he didn't even pay attention to the person clambering, then falling, off of Dojo's back. The figure that was clad in classic mechanic's jean overalls, which was holding a couple of wrenches, screwdrivers, and other random knick-knacks. The figure that was grumbling about bumpy ride, while being very sore. Omi rushed around to help Toni... But stopped short. "Jermaine, where is your cousin Toni? Did you bring your sister by mistake?"

Jermaine was the next one to get to Toni's side, and by this time, Dojo had already shrunken down enough so that everyone could see who Toni really was. The pair of New Yorkers stood, side by side, one watching the other dust herself off. "Guys... this is my cousin, Toni." I must say that if I was there to actually SEE the monk's stunned looks, instead of having to hear about it from Clay, I bet it would have been ten time funnier. He described the looks as if they had seen "A twelve headed goat performing The Nutcracker Ballet". Yeah, that's not even that funny. Anyway... Omi looked from Jermaine to Toni and back again, hoping for some miracle that would, undoubtedly, make this whole situation be okay. However, that miracle... Not going to happen, short stack! Haha.

Toni stretched her hands high above her head and smiled. "Hi! It's nice to finally meet you, Jermaine told me a lot about you guys and your fun adventures and your cool fights... And when he came to visit this time, I wanted to come too!" Everyone else seemed to find this perfectly acceptable and welcomed her with open arms and introductions, which probably weren't needed, since she was filled in by her cousin before they got there.

Happiness rained upon the land, and good times were to be had by all... except for little Omi, who still had a hard time believing that Jermaine brought a cousin to train with him... who was a girl. "But... but you are a girl!" Omi stuttered, finally saying something to her.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." She grinned down at him, one eyebrow raised condescendingly at him. Toni leaned over to Jermaine to whisper to him. "Geez, not the sharpest crayon in the box, is he?" The pair giggled... well, she giggled, he sort of chuckled guiltily.

It should be known by now that little Water monks don't like to be ignored, which is why he stomped his foot loudly enough to get the relatives' attention. "Cousin Toni, you would like to train with us?" When she nodded enthusiastically, much to the suspicion of her cousin, Omi smiled. "Fine. You can train with me in the training circle. First one to fall out of the circle loses. You must bring your best skills." And with that, he turned and left.

I gotta say, I was excited, and the other monks were elated... at least, Cowboy-Pants was. Jermaine wasn't that hyped up on the fact that Toni would be fighting an experienced Xiaolin Warrior, and I'm pretty sure Toni was clueless. Even though she wasn't, she just looked that way.

A little bit about Toni before we go into this story: She's a pseudo-idiot. Moving on...

Few minutes later, both Toni and Omi were in the circle, Omi standing at the ready, and Toni... well, she said she was ready. Outside of the ring, Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay and Jermaine looked anxious to see who would turn out the victor of this little match. No one really wanted to cheer, so they all silently agreed to just make a bunch of noises depending on what was happening. Half of them would clap while the other half boo-ed... you know, feel good stuff like that. Dojo was in charge of the gong, which he rang to start the battle. Omi charged forward a little, and let out a "Moose eating Ivy" attack. I honestly have NO idea what this is about, but the names are amusing, so keep reading. Toni slid a little bit to the left, making him trip on himself, shocking everyone. The boy just glared at Toni, who watched him back. Omi, however, wasted no time issuing a "Zebra dashing Plains" before he did the "Ox on a Log". I swear, I am NOT making this up, he really said those things. She watched his moves before first leaping, then back flipping out of his way. He was literally two inches away from the circle, and so was she when she landed. There was a little bit of stumbling from her, and a quick correction from him before he was on again, and she was on the defensive. It got funny from then on. She hollered loudly and started running away from the "Owl playing Hokey Pokey" and the "Buffalo shaving Fur". I had to admit though, if I were there, and I wouldn't be, I would be doing the EXACT same thing. It wasn't long before she had to either stop running, or forfeit, and he was coming right at her from above.

Then she did something that was so inspirational... so awesome... so amazing that it made HER my hero for the day.

Toni took out a gun, and fired, but it only made a "PAH-TOOIE" noise. Everyone looked up and around before seeing Omi, on his back... covered in Bubble Gum. Jermaine was the only one who turned to look at Toni, who could only raise her hands in defense and say "What! He didn't say I COULDN'T use it!"

My hero.

The rest of the afternoon was either spent picking bubble gum off Omi, or cleaning off the circle. Which wasn't that hard to do, as Toni invented an easy off solution for the gum. "I had to." She said, squirting the gum away. "It all kept getting stuck in my hair, and it's not long enough for me to keep chopping off." Kimiko and Raimundo laughed, and walked her to the dining area, where Omi, Clay and Jermaine were eating quietly, none of whom wanted to talk about the humiliating defeat. "I guess you guys didn't get the hint that I'm an inventor. The Bubble-Gum Gun is one of my favorites, but it didn't work right. Omi was supposed to be trapped in a bubble first." More laughter, but it was hindered by the fact that Omi was now right there.

"Oh... Hello, Toni." He said bitterly. The kid had a right to be angry. I mean, he was stuck to the ground with Bubble Gum while the solution was found and loaded, it must have been REAL uncomfortable. Jermaine looked from his best friend to his cousin, and found the easiest way out of that situation: Going to get more food. "You didn't tell me you were going to cheat!"

That must have hurt. "I beg your pardon, but I did NOT cheat! You didn't say I COULDN'T use the Bubble-Gum Gun. Besides, I came here to TRAIN and LEARN. I don't know anything about fighting, I just know gymnastics. I was in it for eight years." She whispered to Kimiko, who actually looked impressed.

Omi, on the other hand, sulked some more. Before he could get another word in otherwise, Jermaine jumped in, asking Toni what else she had built recently. Her face broke out in an enormous, Cheshire cat grin, and she pulled out a heavy backpack while he left to go get food. "Oh yeah, I said I would show you, huh, Cuz?" I could tell Omi wanted to ask what that meant, exactly, but he didn't get a chance to. Toni pulled out a variety of strange and fun-looking... what were they... toys? They looked like toys. "Okay, prepare yourselves!" She said theatrically. It was all anyone could do to not laugh hysterically. "This is the Ice Disk. I can throw it down, and if stepped on, like a land mine, it'll go off, and freeze in place! It's a really fun one. Oh, and I kinda made this, but the original idea came from the Ancient Aztecs. It's a Puffy Dart." She set it down carefully and told everyone not to touch it, but that still didn't stop Raimundo from reaching out to touch it. "RAI, NO!"-Which I had to add, since she said it, even though she was too late. He pricked his finger, and the moment he did, his finger... then his hand... then his whole arm began to swell up. Which was when Kimiko and Clay tried to leap across the table to help him, but both of them accidentally stepped on the Ice Disk. Which was funny, because now... they were stuck together. With ice! Kimiko tried to melt herself out, but had to stop since she was giving Clay third degree burns. Meanwhile, Omi was trying to reach for the antidote, which Toni was trying to dig out of her bag, when another "PAH-TOOIE" went off, and nailed Omi to the wall. And there was no bubble, I'm starting to think this girl's a liar, along with all the trouble she's causing. Jermaine had finally came back, and looked around to find two monks stuck together, one stuck to the wall, and another with an over inflated arm.

After a second of watching this, all he could spit out was, "...What did you DO!"

Chase finally came out of his Eye-Spying room. He looked like he had just run a mile, without sleep, after eating a turkey and warm milk dinner. Wuya just stared up at him, her face gaunt and sunken in. Gross. "Chase... what is happening? Where... where are my powers, Chase?"

For a minute, he looked as if he didn't know HOW, exactly, to answer. Then, he just spit it out. "I don't have them anymore. Any of them. I guess, after a year of them being stagnant, they just... moved on." He looked like he was going to kind of say he was sorry, but then he remembered that he was all... Evil Awesomeness. And didn't.

"So where did they GO! And how are we going to get them back?" Wuya was, without a doubt, a comical witch. I mean, she could win an award. We. Like Chase was going to help her find her powers, just like that. And Chase looked as if he couldn't believe his ears. It was truly something to behold.

"We? And get them back? Just so you can turn on me again? Oh, no, my good witch. We're going to find you're powers, however, this new witch, or wizard as the case may be," Wuya just looked appalled by the idea her powers just went to some prepubescent boy somewhere, to me, that was like early Christmas. "Is going to become my new apprentice." I know. I was hurt, too. Sorry, everyone. And me. None of us, it appears, can become Chase Young's apprentice. None but the new witch. "And you, Wuya... Shall go back to being a novelty ghost in the box." That threat could only mean one thing for Wuya. Find a way to team up with Hannibal, take down Chase, and get her powers back, in full, from this new witch or wizard... As the case may be.

Whomever this kid was, by the way, was in trouble. In case you didn't already gather that.

The search was on. And the prize...? Well, let's just say a LOT of people are in for a surprise today.

Meanwhile, Toni was apologizing for the umpteenth time. How many, exactly, IS umpteen? Well, whatever, she was in there, apologizing for the huge mess she caused, as Kimiko and Clay thawed out, and Rai's arm shrank, albeit slowly, back to its original size. Oh, and get this, Omi broke his arm! I know, I laughed too! Apparently, when he hit the wall, it just… snapped. …Now it's not funny, it's kinda sad actually. Poor kid. Uh, anyways.

"I didn't mean to do it… though, technically, I didn't do it, you know. I mean, I told him not to touch it, and—" She was rudely cut off by her cousin, who told her that she should go to the kitchen and get everyone some tea. "Okay, I can do that!" Ah, a chance to prove that you're not a complete screw up. I know it well. And she was so excited… Until she realized she had no idea where the kitchen actually was. She was about to turn around and ask when she heard the conversation in the room. And I didn't catch the first part. NOT that I was listening in with a bug-bot.

…I totally WAS listening in with a bug-bot. Anyways, the first part was kinda muffled, but it went SOMETHING like this.

Jermaine was trying to defend his cousin and said it wasn't really her fault. Then it got really quiet, and I could almost hear Toni leaning in to hear more, when Kimiko burst out with "It's not WORTH it to keep her here!"

Ouch. Like… seriously, ouch. Toni slumped to the ground and tried to make herself as small as possible. How do I know that? Trust me, when you've been there before, you kinda know exactly how it would feel.

I am Jack's sympathetic memories.

Just then, Dojo slithered by, holding that Shen Gong Wu scroll they always used to find Shen Gong Wu… I need to get me one of those. Seriously, how the heck did they make those? Or… do they have one at Wal-Mart? …Anyway. Dojo didn't even notice Toni sitting there, just went in that back room. "Kids, a new Shen Gong Wu has activated! It's called the Imo Gazer, and… Oh." He finally got a good look at his fallen warriors, and I bet he was about to laugh, until he realized the crappiness of the situation. They were gonna have to miss out on a Wu. Gasp! The horror! "Maybe we'll just let the bad guys get this one."

And if THAT wasn't a sign for me to try again, well… I don't know what is!

But then Toni… That sneaky little… Well, whatever. Anyways, she decided to go and be all noble. Or try and prove that she wasn't worthless. Either way, she spoke up from her hiding place. "I can get it! Let me try!" Everyone just kinda stared at her. "What have you got to lose?" Ah, famous last words. Right up there with "What could possibly go wrong" and "How much do you want to bet". Oh, and "Will you marry me".

I am Jack's bitter love life.

So, the monks decided that they don't have that much to actually lose, and that they could let her try to get it. Was that gonna stop me? Please. That's like asking would losing one TV show stop Jay Leno from being famous, or… if countless failures would make Rob Schneider from making movies.

Seriously, he needs to stop! He's not funny, he never WAS funny… STOP IT!

I am Jack's annoyance… and NOW I'm a woman! …Pretend I didn't say that.

Toni and Jermaine got ready to go as Dojo prepped them for the newest Wu. "The Imo Gazer puts whoever is in its sights to sleep." Well, that's useful. Toni seemed excited, and rearing to go, as she put on these neat skate things. "They're not too far away from where we are right now, so it'll be an easy grab and go." For which Jermaine was inertly happy for. I mean, honestly, without the losers, what chance did they have of winning against the awesome Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius?

I love being back.

"I'm gonna follow below you then. I just built these and I've been dying to use them!" Toni said, holding up two roller skates. Only I knew better. They had rockets on them. Which I could totally invent myself... If I could find the time. Jermaine watched her go, smiling the whole time.

He shook his head as he boarded Dojo. "She may be weird, but she family, yo.

I had finally gotten there after about a half an hour, and searched the trees. Unfortunately, I was interrupted.

"Jack Spicer. You still ain't found the sun yet?" A haha haha. Like I need a tan. I looked at myself and sighed. I really do need a tan. Too bad albinos don't tan. I sent out a small wave (like, four) of Jack-bots out before going to look for the Imo Gazer. Not really realizing that it was right above me. But I had time. I mean, I thought I had time. Until that girl showed up, with her awesome rocket skates that I totally should have built myself a pair of, if… you know, I would have thought about it. She looked around and saw me… then saw the Imo Gazer right above my head.

And she went for it. Instead of yelling out or saying anything, she just rushed toward me, scrambled up the tree, and went for it. I have to give her props for that, though I still am going to go for it. And why shouldn't I? She's as physically awkward as I am, it's not like she can fight me for it! We both reached it, surprise, surprise, at the same time. And after a shockingly polite introduction exchange (I have to hand it to her, she's got manners), I challenged her to a Xiaolin Showdown. After which I had to explain to her exactly what that meant.

As I did, it finally hit me how long I had been doing this for. Honestly, it had been years, hadn't it? This whole game, the back and forth with the Xiaolin Losers… Years. Years of my life, wasted on trying to get things I didn't really need for world conquest. I mean, I could have built a death ray in that time, AND a fortress of solitude, AND owned a private island or two. And I call myself an evil genius!

I am Jack's ever lovin' irritation. Suck!

"Okay, so the challenge is… You're in inventor, right?" She shrugged and tried to act all modest. Cute. "The first one of us to finish repairing a four cylinder engine will win!" Neither of us had any Shen Gong Wu to wager, so it was basically winner gets the Wu. Works for me.

Toni smirked at me. Actually SMIRKED! It's like I'm not even EVIL anymore! …And then I remembered I totally DIDN'T want to be evil, like, some weeks ago. "Come on, white boy. Let's play." What did she say! White boy? Oh, yeah, THAT'S totally PC! Come on, now. And then, if I say black girl, I'm the racist one.

Even though, you know, everyone's a little bit racist. Sometimes.

She is SO going down! Mostly for that "white boy" comment. Even though it's true, it wasn't necessary. Then again, it's not like she called me cracker or something. …OH I GET IT NOW! Because crackers are white! Sorry, I never knew what that really meant until just now. Not… that I'm slow, or anything. All around us, the environment changed to this garage looking place that smelled like an airport. You know that smell, the oily, airplane fuel smell. I love that smell. In front of both of us were two giant engines, and in the middle were toolboxes, the giant rolly kind with the bunches of drawers. It was like a mechanic's wet dream! …Not… that I would know about that, or anything. Don't judge me!

Whatever. The showdown started, and that's when I finally realized that Chase Young and Wuya were sitting around, just watching! And I know I should be all… hyped up that Chase Young is watching me showdown… which I kinda am, but… knowing what I know now, it doesn't really matter as much, you know? I set to work on fixing my engine, which was beautiful, by the way. I'm a guy, what can I say, I heart cars. When I looked over, apparently Toni did too, because she had set to work on that thing like it was just… la-di-dah, life as usual. The fact that we were in a magical garage didn't seem to faze her at all!

Time passed quickly when I realized I was almost done! Just a few screws to replace and—Crap. Toni was almost done too. This wasn't going as well as I thought it would be. I worked as fast as I could, but she was starting to catch up… if only I weren't on the up and up this time, I would totally cheat. Wait… was I actually being honest! Was I actually considering NOT considering cheating! As the predicament waged war with my conscience, I finished screwing in the last screw and looked over at Toni…

Who was flat on her back on the ground, a screwdriver next to her foot. Oh… shit.

Did I do that?

The showdown ended, and I can tell you right now what happened. I think I… may have… accidentally… kinda… used my powers to put the screwdriver underneath her foot so that when she moved backwards she would trip over it. Yeah. The one in my hand transformed into the Imo Gazer, and, just like that, I had won. But then, why did I feel like such a loser?

And how do I make it stop!

I am Jack's guilty conscious. Shit.

Jermaine helped his cousin up as he glared at me. Damn, why does everyone keep doing that? Like they want to kill me with their eyes. It's not like she wasn't trying to win too. I mean… you know what I mean. After I get my helipack up and running, I can hear her saying something along the lines of "Just wanted to be worth something to them."

Boy, do I know THAT feeling, sister.

Down below me, not that I actually know this part happened, it's just hearsay… Chase and Wuya were talking. And what a subject they were talking ABOUT!

It was ME! They were talking… about ME!

"Did you see that, Chase? Spicer… he manipulated that tool to stop the girl from winning."

Wuya's voice was slimy in his ear. It was almost like he could hear it oozing down…. Ugh, that's sick to think about. But he had to agree, as he just watched it happen. "Spicer DID do that. It makes me wonder…" And wonder he did, all the way up through the trees as he started floating through them. Wuya shrieked below him. The only thing he could do as she had no more magic to use or any way to get home. But Chase, being the awesome badass he was, just created a portal for her with the Golden Tiger Claws and pushed her on through, while evilly thinking and plotting his evil plotty thinks. …thoughts. He's so cool!

_The Spicer boy has gotten strong, Chase thought, as he soared through the air. He didn't really enjoy it anymore. Not as much as he used to. Before, when he himself was a young dragon in training, he felt that flying was probably the greatest accomplishment one could do. Now? It was just another way to get home. Though, current events would prove that life was about to get much more interesting. And what about his witch? She had lost her powers and according to Heylin law, they didn't just disappear. They went somewhere. They had to find a host body. So who was his newest ally going to be? He sighed and slowed down just a little bit. Ally? More like accomplice. Someone to help him and take the blame when he couldn't risk getting caught. Or someone to do the dirtier work for him. So, what, like a servant? Something like that. Yes… He thought. Life was about to get VERY interesting._

Back at the Xiaolin loser's temple place… and yes, I was there this time, they had Toni surrounded, her back against the Shen Gong Wu vault's wall. Well, if that wasn't Déjà vu, I don't know what is. I mean, honestly, they have this whole… fetish with cornering people and making them feel all helpless and stuff. Not that I've ever felt helpless against them. Anyway. Toni was standing there, back to the wall, and outnumber by Xiaolin idiots, trying to explain to them that she didn't lose it on purpose or anything. "It was just an accident, you guys! You have to believe me, I was about to win, I… I was." From my rooftop hiding spot I could hear her voice falter, like she was giving up. "I'm sorry I'm a little bit accident prone—"

"A little!" Kimiko decided that just then was the right time to jump in with her variety of "tough love". "You completely lost us a Shen Gong Wu that WE now have to get back from Jerkbot Spicer (The name calling is completely uncalled for, by the way.), and he has those powers now… it's not even gonna be easy!" He-hey! I'm a threat now! Cool!

Just then, Toni decided to stick up for herself and take a stand. You go girl! "Well, maybe that's Karma for you! It comes right back and bites you on the ass, or lack thereof!" Oooh, burn! She then just turned on her heel and ran into the vault, hiding behind the door to mask her crying.

She was right about to close it when Kimiko said "I told you she wasn't worth it." Ouch. Seriously, that was a low blow. That… that just wasn't right. I mean, I felt bad for her. It's not her fault that she didn't get the Shen Gong Wu, it was mine. She was totally worthy, she was just… Wait.

And that's when I came up with my most charitable idea ever, ever. Only you can't tell anyone I did this, cuz it'll totally ruin my evil rep. Not that that's intact anyways. I took out the Imo Gazer and a sticky note, because you never know when you need to write down an evil grocery list when mom wants to make cookies and you're out of flour. I scribbled on it quickly, and then dropped it into the room. When I heard the audible thunk and the tell-tale "OW! SONOFA—!" I knew it was time to go. But I had to watch what happened, so I peeked into the window to see.

In her hand was the Imo Gazer, apparently falling from grace through the sun roof of the vault. On it was a small note. "To: My Worthy Adversary. Next time, it'll be fair. ~Jack Spicer, Evil (wait, scratch that...) Dragon of Metal (Noo, not that either...) Boy Genius (We'll just leave it at that)" What! I didn't have an eraser. I don't know how long she sat there for; I got bored after five minutes or so. All I know is, she was still staring at the thing when I left.

"Are you sure you want to leave early, Tee?" It was the next morning, and Toni had decided to leave. But who could really blame her, right? He glared at Kimiko, who just looked away, in that snooty way she does. Man, what a bitch. She hugged him goodbye, as well as Raimundo, Omi and Clay. She didn't even bother with Miss Tohomiko "I think I'm so much better than everyone else"… Kimiko… her.

Her bag was packed and slung over her shoulder. I suppose she wasn't taking Dojo, her rocket rollers were laced up and ready to go. "Naw, that's cool. I'm not… I don't feel like staying. Besides, Ma'll get worried if I don't show up for dinner someday." With that, and a small wave of her hand, she was darting off into the sunset, just like any hero would do, the astonished crowed watching her in awe and amazement.

Only the crowd wasn't really watching her in awe and amazement.

And she ain't no hero.

Aaaand then I got bored. So I went upstairs for a snack for a few hours. Or something. I came back downstairs with an armful of pudding cups and some cookies and other junk food, to see my chair with the tall back turned away from me. Which was weird, cuz I always slide it to the door, you know, so I can slide it back… Don't judge me! You ALL do the same thing, I know it! Anyways. Chair facing away from me, and I was standing there with a crap load of stuff, looking confused. Then the chair turned toward me, which I thought was just my powers acting up again. But in my favor this time! Little did it occur to me that Toni was sitting in it, her fingers together like Mr. Burns from Simpsons. "Mr. Spicer, we meet again!"

Okay, so this whole thing happened pretty quickly, in a matter of seconds, so when I say that I jumped and screamed and spilled pudding on myself… you know why. She jumped up and clenched her jaw, before rushing over to me and brushing the pudding off. "Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry, I didn't mean to, I am SO sorry… I said that already." All over my freakin' jacket, it's brand… Well, not new, but it's my favorite one! She cleaned it up and I just had to glare.

"What are you doing here!" I had a right to know. She was, after all, in my lab. Er… lair. Crap, what am I gonna call this place now?

As I toyed with that ponderance, Toni filled in the blanks. Or tried to. "I only came here to give you this back." The Imo Gazer? Talk about OMG moments. Seriously, chick, what the hell! "Well, I didn't earn it. It's yours still, so. Yeah. Oh! And, can I be your apprentice, please." Wow. What an aside.

Then again, I could use a hand around the lab, the Kratos Blades' testing was becoming dangerous. Especially when the Jackbots only understood "Stop Simulation", and it's pretty hard to yell that when you're being attacked by both your weapons and some element that trying to kill you. And this place was turning into a complete pigsty… I bet she's good with a mop and broom.

And if you say I'm being racist… SHE STARTED IT!

"Do you have credentials?" The girl just stared at me, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What! I've been turned on by a lot of potential apprentices. Apprenticy. …Allies. Either way, I can't just go about trusting anyone." So there.

Honestly. Katnappe, Fat Sumo Guy, Robo-Me, Emo Clown… The list goes on. Oh yeah, and Wuya. Ugh. Wuya. But Toni was persistent. "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE—" Oh my God, she would NOT shut up! And that was probably more annoying than anything I've ever heard in my life. "Come on, I just want to prove I'm worth something, and—" Then she just kinda cut herself off and got super quiet. Which was… welcome. But weird. I looked around at the lab once more... though not much had changed since the first and last time I looked at it.

It was still a mess. "Alright. You can stay. But double cross me, and you WILL pay for it!" I reminded her, a menacing scowl on my face. I heard her say later that it just looked like constipation. I don't care though. It's somewhat more fun to build inventions when you've got someone there to do somethings with you.

A/N: I'm better now. If I came across as a bit of a bitch... well, that's probably because I am kinda one. If you wanna talk about it, cool. I'm NOT an unreasonable person. I'm not going to get angry at things you say. Irritated, yes, but angry? No. Everyone has a right to think what they do. Which is why I write this story. Because it's what I think. I publish it because I enjoy seeing responses to what I think. If you have a problem with that, that's GREAT! Keep in mind, however, that most of what I write is FICTION, and I don't really MEAN it. At least when it comes to this story.

Also: I don't know when the next chapter will be up, since I haven't written it yet. *shrugs* Review, if you want.


	6. The Return: Chase

A/N: I am SOOO sorry this is so late! I apologize, I didn't mean to have it take so long to get up... Either way, here it is. I only own Toni, and she's a pretty cool chick. I think I might come back with the Jack Says, so if you want to see it... let me know so I can tell Jack and he can comment on your... erm... comments. Also, this chapter has Chase in it! So yay for him!

**Chapter Two: The Return: Chase**

Toni sat next to me, listening to the end of my tale about how I got my powers. When I was finished, she looked intrigued. "Interesting..." She remarked, before standing up. "So you control ALL metal, right? Any type?" When I nodded, she grinned. "I have an idea, be right back." She rushed upstairs, and I sat down to do some organizing at my computer. After being here for only two days (She was staying in the guest room near the basement, mom didn't really know, nor care.) She knew the house pretty well. Mom was out being a fashionista somewhere that day, and Lindsay was with her counselor. Again, an empty house. And people wonder why I want to take over the world.

I didn't really have the time to do much before Toni whipped the goggles from my forehead and threw on a blindfold. "HEY! Toni, what the—what's gotten into you?" The girl firmly wrapped the blindfold over my eyes and put something heavy in my hands. "This... is... A pan? Ah. Mom's cast-iron pan." She made a soft noise and I tried to peak out from under the bandanna around my head, but she slapped my hands.

"No peaking. I want to see what you can make with your powers. Think of it as a test." I could hear her snicker and I knew she was going to try to trip me up with this one. "A blind test." I stood up and held the pan tightly in my hands, daring her to do her worst. "Okay... I wanna see a statue of your mom." That couldn't have confused me more, but she merely said "You heard me!" and I had to do it. I mean, I guess... wait... wasn't I the one in charge here?

It didn't matter. I concentrated on my mom's face as hard as I could. The cookie-making, party-loving, trend-setting mom I was used to. "You're mom's pretty." Toni said after about five minutes. The blindfold flew up and there it was in my hands. A mini-mom. She really was pretty, I thought. My apprentice pushed the blindfold back over my eyes and commanded me to create a slew of different people and things, including some of the Shen Gong Wu. Finally, she finished by telling me to make the pan exactly the way it was. Crap.

Luckily, the SGW Radar went off at precisely that moment, which was cool, because I could just hide the cast-iron Dojo underneath my table and fix it later to match the set. I looked over at Toni, who had my goggles on under her bangs and was tapping diligently at the super computer that housed more information about the world than anyone else could even imagine.

Not that I'm bragging.

I am Jack's... totally bragging.

"We gotta live one, boss. Give me a few minutes to, uh..." She stopped to stifle a shiver and push it down. I didn't worry about it too much then, I thought it was just a nervous tick or something. I didn't want to mention it, in case she was overly sensitive. "Excuse me, a few minutes to isolate it."

"You know..." Toni didn't look at me once while I was talking, but I knew she was listening when she leaned her head towards me. "Have I ever told you how hot you look sitting there in my chair with my goggles?" I've told the others this, and I'll tell anyone who asks. We were playing! I don't like her like that, and she doesn't like ME like that. She's my best friend. Well, my best apprentice. And... yeah. Anyway.

She bowed her head for a few seconds before looking at me. I just flashed her a snarky smile. "Okay, Spicer... FOCUS! We need you here, not in Hormone-Land." But I knew she was kidding when she winked and turned back to the keyboard and her frantic typing. "Okay, I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want?" I always go for the good news. It's easier to swallow the bad after the good. "Okay then. The good news is... the Wu, The Bandits Cloak, has minimal security around it, on account of no one knows of it's magical property. The soonest we can get it is... How fast can your jet fly us to Spain?"

"We'd get there in six hours, unless you want to take a pit stop in Italy?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. She threw me that look. You know, that one girls use that looks like they're half asleep, but they're really thinking 'Boys are all idiots and girls will crush them while they sleep'? Yeah, that one. "Six hours."

A couple of deep breaths later and she continued. "The soonest we can get it then is... let's see... calculating the time now... from the timezone in Spain... eight hours ahead... If we left in an hour, we'd be able to get the Wu in another hour! Approximate time from start to finish: eight hours." She turned the chair around and looked up at me as I leaned on one of my tables with a pen in my mouth. This was good news. It would be a little while before the losers could get there. But... "Bad news time?" I nodded, chomping down a little harder on my pen. She took it from me and gave me a pencil before telling me what she needed to tell me. "It's a party type thing. At the Royal Palace of Madrid. It's on exhibit, along with a variety of other 'museum worthy' pieces. It's formal. EXTREMELY formal. Coat and tie, hat and tails, invite only formal."

I felt the color drain from my face, and heard something fall to the ground... the pencil in my mouth. I bit it in half... I felt something strange on my tongue... wait, thirds. I spit out that piece too. Formal parties! Tie and tails! Those words weren't even registered to be used that way in my mind. "Yeah, well..." I started, but I couldn't think of many things that would scare her about this... unless... "YOU HAVE TO WEAR A DRESS!"

Toni shifted her eyes quickly, before muttering, "Yes... how horrible... I mean... CRAP! A DRESS!" I felt my jaw drop and I knew I was glaring at her, but I didn't care.

"You LIKE the whole thought of this thing, don't you!"

"No."

"Yes you do! You WANT to wear a dress, and those fancy glove things, and heels and show cleavage!"

"...What?"

"Heels." I was thinking about my mom in that one part.

I am Jack's scarred brain, forever marred with the image of the cleavage I never wanted to see.

An hour later, we were in the Jack Jet, arguing about dresses and formals and all of that. I managed to create a couple of convincing fake invites, using a show-off's copy the idiot posted on the internet. It was easy enough to rip off, and with a couple of hastily grabbed Wu, we were off to Spain. Toni let the auto-pilot do it's thing before pushing a few buttons and studying up on the local language. It was after a four hour nap that I decided to play "20 Questions" with the girl, and see just what made her tick. "So Toni," She glanced at me and smiled a little before going back to her dictionary. "Why did you team up with me?"

She dog-eared the page she was on before asking me if I brought my Kratos Blades. When I told her yes, she answered my question. "I was bored." I didn't buy that and she knew it. "Okay, okay. Truth be told, I didn't belong with the good guys. Something about not being good enough for them, ever, turned me off to the whole idea. Well, that and their 'goodness' wasn't all that they preached it was. Besides," She patted my shoulder. "You're a lot easier to deal with. You don't have unreachable expectations or think that..." Her voice faded, but I knew what she was thinking.

"I know what you mean. Dad practically thought I was useless. Mom still thinks I'm helpless. Self-worth ain't high at the time. I gotta make my own worth, you know?" I looked over to her, but she turned her head and hid her face in the dictionary. "It's alright, Toni. Anyways, we're close. You wanna start making reservations at the hotel?" She just nodded, and went about clicking on the on-board computer for a fancy place to stay at for a day or two.

We landed only a couple of hours later, and it was six thirty. The hotel she reserved space at was epically fancy, and I immediately thought of the type of place I would like to live at someday. The receptionist took us to our rooms, we carried our own bags. I never understood why rich people had to have someone carry their bags when they were only staying for a couple of days. It's not like they were super heavy. The escort was blathering on about how we got the last suite or something, before we finally FINALLY got to our room. There were two beds, and a really nice bathroom, and even a kitchen in the corner. I wondered quietly how much of my money this was going to cost me. Toni tipped the guy a ten euro bill, and shut the door. "So, how much is this place anyway?" My apprentice just grinned.

"Nothing. I'm evil, remember? I hacked some rich guy's bank account. He won't miss the money, though. He's a quadrillion-aire or something." Or something. She was definitely learning. "Okay, so we have... an hour and a half to get ready for this party. Think that'll be enough time for you, Spicer?" Here we go. The whole, Jack's a diva thing. Sorry, I just had to get that out. I'm not, NOT a diva. She grinned when I grabbed my shirt and boxers and went to take a shower. We had worked out the details already. I'd get ready in the main room, she'd take her time in the bathroom.

When I was finished, I checked myself in the mirror. I didn't look all that bad, I thought. An elegant tuxedo with gloves and a top hat actually didn't look bad on me. I smiled. "Hey, Toni, I don't think you can top how I look for this party!" I yelled, looking towards the bathroom. Too bad she decided to show up at this exact moment, looking awesome in this really long red flow-y dress thing. "Aw, come ON!" She smiled, twirling around a little bit. Show-off. "Yeyeyeyeah, we got it, you look nice, can we just go now?" I grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room.

By this time, the party thing was just about to start... which made me wonder why we had to go to some lame party in the first place. Couldn't we just steal the thing and get it over with? I brought that up, and got treated with a smack on the head. "No, because they thought of thieves already. See up there?" she handed me a mini pair of binoculars, and I aimed them at the roof. At least seven or eight really buff guys were standing up there, walking around, looking as if they wanted someone to break in. "Not to mention three times that inside. I'm telling you, we're going to need a miracle to get this thing."

"Not to burst your bubble or anything..." I was trying to work out all the right words to say. "If we need a miracle, then why are we HERE!" She had to shush me to get me to quiet down even a little. "I mean, I'm practically an anti-miracle machine!" Toni just had to frown and pull out a small gizmo.

"Leave it to me, I specialize in making miracles." I threw her a quick look before watching her stuff the gizmo back into her purse.

The tickets were ready to be handed over, and no one suspected a thing. No sight of the Xiaolin Losers either.. Maybe this raid would turn out to be better than the rest. A half-hour later, we were munching on finger foods and mingling with the other guests. So far, the party wasn't actually half bad. No opposition, no butt-kicking, no problem! I wandered off to find out more about the exhibits, and turned around to see Toni talking to some big, Italian guy. Not that I was jealous, but still... we had a job to do. "Sorry to break up you two, but we have something we need to take care of." I pulled her away from pretty boy and took her to the back room. "Hey! Did you forget about the Bandit's Cloak? The reason we're here? Did you? DIIID you?"

Even though she was playing around before, Toni was a hundred percent serious this time. "No, what did you think I was doing?" I could think of at least twenty things I thought she was doing. None of which I think I should name right now. "I was making myself look inconspicuous. You know, not suspicious. I already got the Cloak." She said. And before I could even ask, she wiggled her arm, and I could hear a long sleeve wiggling around her arm. Jackpot. I smiled at her, and pulled her out and away as fast as I could, without looking guilty. "Don't you want to know how I did it?"

"No."

"But it's really interesting! See, that thing I used turned..."

"Blah blah blah invisible, blah blah blah escape. That's great."

"...You don't even care."

"Sure I do. I'll just care more if those big guys don't kill me."

We escaped, and I found out later that it was only the next morning that they noticed the Bandit's Cloak was missing, and it was that same afternoon when the Xiaolin Dorksters could even get to Europe. Back in the lab, I was able to figure out the Bandit's Cloak was for infinate storage, and could be used to hide or conceal anything you wanted to hide. Or conceal. It's not picky. We also ALSO found out that the museum was pretty much waiting for it to vanish.

"Okay, now hand me the KB's, and prepare to run test D-352." I said, securing my goggles around my eyes and stepping into the flame retardant room. Toni slid a pair of sunglasses onto the bridge of her nose and cataloged the test number, the hypothesis, and all that other important stuff you probably don't care about. She then locked me inside the room and put her finger to a switch, not pushing it until she saw me give her the thumbs up. Testing finally began.

I swung the blades up and out, and before a giant spray of icy cold water could hit me, they sprung into action, swinging in front of me in a propeller kinda way, deflecting the blast away from me. Next came a mighty gust of wind. I felt a tug on my arms, and I pulled them back. Unfortunately, they were stronger than I was, and I was pulled up into the air, riding the wind like a bizarre helicopter. I looked up, just to be greeted by the sight of several large and dozens of small rocks aimed straight for me! Time to make this thing stop! I pulled really hard, and this time, they gave in, letting me drop to the floor. Luckily, I landed on my feet in time to swing just one of my blades in a graceful arch above my head, slicing neatly through the rock and making rubble, without getting a scratch on me. Finally, it was time for the most dangerous part of my test: The flamethrower shot out from the wall and I could see Toni's frightened face in the window near me. I threw her a quick thumbs up again, and she gritted her teeth, letting the flames fly.

The KB's were pushed together, and I threw them to the fire, keeping the chains in my hands until the exact right moment... The KB's metal touched the tip of the flames, which gave me the chance to swing the blades in a figure eight, pulling the flames away from the weapon and onto mine. Finally, after a few good pulls, the figure eight was glowing above my head, KB's fully engulfed in fire and completely controlled. I kept them that way for another minute before pulling them and letting the blades scrape apart and extinguish themselves before they hit the palms of my hands.

After a long sigh of relief I could finally hear what was going on in the outside world. Toni was jumping around, cheering and pumping her arms in victory. "Spicer, that was genius! You did it! It was simply made of awesome!" I waved at her and pushed my goggles onto my hair before walking into the lab and flopping into a chair lazily while Toni shut off everything. She hurriedly swept up the testing hole and shutting off the lights for the night. Everything was cleaned up and neatly organized before she came skipping out of the testing area and spun my chair around. "Okay, so what exactly was that test for?"

An excellent question from the nutty inventor. "You see, I needed to see how my weapons fared AGAINST the Xiaolin dork-o's powers. Just in case I remember to bring the Kratos Blades, I can make sure they don't go all traitor on me and work WITH them. Right?" Toni nodded with a little excitement, very certain she understood. I smiled back at her, stretching a little bit. "You finish cleaning up here. I gotta go take a... shower." Shower, bubble bath... but she didn't need to know.

"You mean a bubble bath? Do you want your rubber duckie and the tub-boat?" She held out the toys and I felt my whole face fall. She knew.

I am Jack's Epic fail.

I grabbed them and made my way out of the lab. Which was good timing for her, because it was as soon as I walked out that she sneezed. And normally, I wouldn't have a problem with the germs. Unfortunately, it wasn't just germs that got blown. When that girl sneezed, almost half of my JackBots exploded right then and there in a dark greenish laser-y blast. Her face was not only one of surprise, but also shock and confusion. "...They must do that often." She said, wiping her face with a hand that was, unbeknown to her, also green and glowy.

I can tell you now, no, this is NOT going to end well.

Finally, I reached my room, and when I pulled open the door I got freakin' scared out of my mind again! Chase was standing on the other side of my room! What, does EVERYONE have a penchant for popping out and scaring me? "Gyaaa... what the heck, Chase!" I yelled, falling backwards. Once I finally got over my near heart attack, I stood up, and walked over to my dresser, pulling out some sweat pants. "What do you want?" I was trying to keep my voice as mellow and calm as I possibly could, when, in reality, I was shaking in my leather boots.

To which I know he knew and was chuckling at. "Spicer, you are too easy. I just came to... chat." He said silkily. He was SO cool! But I had to hide that, I was supposed to be my own evil villain, not just some sort of obsessed fanboy. I shook my head and frowned at him from over my shoulder. "What, we aren't allowed to talk now that you're the Xiaolin Dragon of Metal? Maybe I should just leave..."

"NO!" Damn. That's not what I meant to say. That really wasn't what I meant to say. "I mean... That's not what I-" He just grinned and took a seat on a chair, his fingers folded and his eyes blank and emotionless.

I frowned at him and let him have a seat. Whatever, like I care. "Being the Metal Dragon making you high and mighty, Spicer?" He picked a piece of lint from his shirt and threw it away. "When are you going to start fighting for all that is good and righteous? Shouldn't take you too long, eh?" Okay, that was a low blow. It wasn't like I was all over the good guys like I was in love with them or something.

Then again... "No, that's not going to happen, Chase. I'm staying evil. Me and MY apprentice are going on the rampage. Starting tomorrow. We got a whole evil team thing going on, so we don't even need the Xiaolin side." I bragged. There was no sense turning back now. Besides, so far I hadn't lied.

He looked impressed though. Which was cool, I had actually impressed THE Chase Young. "Spicer... You don't even KNOW evil. I... Am evil. Hannibal Bean... is evil. Wuya... used to be evil, now she's just sort of a background character. But you? You're not evil, Spicer. You're not evil, and you're not good. You're nothing." I started to open my mouth to disagree, but he cut me off. "Face it. Your best bet WOULD be to join the Xiaolin side. At least then you could get stronger. Or... strong. And besides, with those mock-do-gooders, it's not like you would really be switching sides. You'll just be going by a different title. 'Jack Spicer, Do-gooding Pansy.'" Okay, that was just uncalled for. "Like I said, there wouldn't be much change in your current personality at all."

I am Jack's boiling rage.

"That's NOT going to happen to me! I'm not a do-gooder and I refuse to join their side!" I yelled. But then again... why not? It's not like it would hurt. I would still get the Shen Gong Wu. And who knows, I might just get away with taking over the world. It would be later than I would like, but I could still do it. "Yeah, but... no, I... I wouldn't be caught dead doing... Xiaolin side stuff..." More unsure now. "Maybe not." Even more unsure. "I mean, not that it won't happen." Giving it up now. "No one can say for sure what will or will not happen, right?" Yeah, I was a total lost case. And he was just sitting there, watching me slowly slip away into do-goodness. The bad thing was, I knew that I was giving up on being evil, and I didn't care. I didn't...

Didn't what? Want to be evil anymore? Didn't care? Didn't think I could resist? (No... must... resist... temptation!) Maybe I should just give it a try, just to see what would happen. If I were to, hypothetically, join their side. I looked up from my dresser, since I was still looking for my sweat pants, to see Chase still sitting there, watching me with mild interest. "You know, Spicer... You may actually be just what that side needs. I mean," He closed his eyes and reclined back a little bit, causing me to lean closer to him, while still staying far away of course. I couldn't have him getting annoyed at me now, I had to know what he thought. "They're mock-good. You're mock-evil. The two collide, you're bound to make some kind of 'happy' medium. Take the evil out of them, take some of the good out of you." He reasoned. And I thought that actually made some sense. It beat getting beat by them, at any rate. "And if nothing else, it beats getting beaten up by them." Exactly! And it finally happened! Chase Young and I were on the same wave length!

I looked down at my feet to see my Kratos Blades. Which was weird, because I didn't even bring them upstairs. I picked them up and held them, since they comforted me. They were, after all, really awesome. They were my weapons though, so they should be just as awesome as the owner. "Spicer." I looked up once again, and this time he was right THERE! Right next to me and my dresser. I yelped a little bit, slamming the drawer shut. He put a finger to the tip of the blades, drawing me closer with a simple pull. He didn't even draw blood. He is SO cool. "The Kratos Blades belonged to a mighty warrior." He stopped and thought for a second. "From Greece." Another profound pause, and I raised an eyebrow. What was he getting at? "Not me." Oh. "He was... a very brave, powerful, and ruthless man. It is rumored that he killed his own wife and child." I gasped and wanted to throw the blades to the ground, but didn't, and kept listening. "This man was experienced in his art. He could kill with a look. Paralyze with a thought. Decapitate with a word. And for all the strength that he had... He was not immune to the human emotions that everyone has. Well, except for me." I smirked a little as he looked into the mirror at himself. When his eyes snapped back to me, I went back to being serious. "The reason you have the Kratos Blades is not because you work well with the metal you are constantly surrounding yourself with, but because you know who you are, and won't let anyone change that. Like Kratos." His golden eyes narrowed. "No matter how wrong you are." I frowned. Something was wrong here.

"I'm serious Chase... Why are you here? This little pep talk thing..." I moved around him, keeping my eyes on him. He didn't even bother looking up. He just listened to me. Yeah, it's about time, CHASE. "I'm not buying that you just came to 'chat', so spill. What do you want from me?" This was starting to get personal, and I needed to know what he was up to so that maybe, just maybe I can protect myself. Or something to that effect.

It was a while of staring and eye closed annoyed-ness "Spicer, aren't you tired of this whole facade? You know what you want, I know what you want." He took a step closer, and it was all I could do to raise the Kratos Blades to keep us separated. Then I remembered: No training. What was I gonna do, shake them at him? Pull a helicopter move and fly out of my own room? "You want to be stronger. And you've wanted to team up with those Xiaolin children ever since I've known you." I felt the remaining color drain out of my face, if that was even possible. He grinned at me momentarily before walking backwards towards my window. "You can't keep this dance up forever, Jack Spicer." I lowered my blades, the chains I didn't notice were cutting off my circulation loosened. "You will join up with the Xiaolin, and take your proper place as the Dragon of the Metal." It felt so final, and I knew that it might happen.

"You're wrong, Chase. I can keep this dance up as long as I want." That didn't come out right. "I'll make my own choices for my own reasons. Not because you told me how it would be." Yeah, that sounded cool. Even though he just chuckled and jumped out my window. I didn't run to check. I knew he'd be juuust jingles. Before I could forget what I had initially came up here to do, I grabbed my towel and rushed the bathroom, hoping that no one was home so I could take a nice long, cool, relaxing... thoughtful bath.

I am Jack's brain blanking, and I need a break.

Toni finished fixing the rest of the JackBots, and scrubbed at her face, brushing at a few stray strands of hair and getting grease on her forehead. The lab looked almost spotless, and was always kept at a moderately warm 80 degrees Fahrenheit. The way I liked it. Despite the absence anything cold or any active Shen Gong Wu, Toni shivered and shook, clutching at her chest and gasping sharply. "Oww... Not again..." This was probably the third or fourth time something like this had happened, but she said NOTHING about it to me. Which she should have, 'cuz then I could have helped her... The young girl knelt on the floor and tried to wait for the strange pain to pass. Unfortunately, it didn't. And it wasn't until a dark shadow passed over her that she even felt a little better.

When she exhaled and looked up, she was shocked at the prettiness of the man, just like all of us... Fine, just me. It was a while before either of them said a word. "Who are you, and what do you want?" Toni asked Chase. He chuckled at her before helping her up. "Thank you." That's one thing I'll give her. She's pretty polite, even in the worst of times.

"You're welcome. I am Chase Young, I don't believe we've been formally introduced." Toni blinked and stood up on her own. "I see your cousin has told you about me, then."

That's right, word WOULD have spread through the family, huh? Because when he told her his name, she looked generally appalled. Her fists balled in rage, and even though she couldn't see the dark green glow around them, Chase could, and he grinned about it. He had definitely found his witch. Now he just had to keep her alive long enough to develop, exploit, and use her powers for himself. "Yeah, he told me about you. Unfortunately, I can't help you get to Omi, so... You're kinda S.O.L." She explained, her face level, but her hair was flailing around without wind. That should have been a dead give-away for her, and yet... Toni felt her remaining strength drain to almost nothing and she slumped in a chair close by. "Just tell me what you want." She waved her hand at him dismissively, and waited for him to speak again. But she wasn't expecting what he was going to say.

"You haven't been feeling this badly until recently have you?" She just watched him, feeling more and more drained by the minute. "The anger you hold inside of you fuels it. All of your negativity, your sadness... your worthlessness." Hit the nail on the head with that one. My apprentice could only slump down further, and wonder what his point was. "The anger you show releases it, allows it to escape, to give you and it an outlet. You hold it in for much longer... it _will_ consume you." Her head pounded with what she knew was now a dormant power, trying to escape. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and took away some of the stored up magical energy. It helped her feel better, at least for the moment, and she couldn't help but feel a little gratitude towards the prince of darkness.

When she looked up at him, to find his eyes, she couldn't detect the normal hints of an evil bad guy. Even though that's EXACTLY who Chase Young was. But then again, isn't that what all of us were? The bad guys? The ones that didn't want the world to be coated in light and happiness and all that other mushy crap? She pursed her lips, and looked away from him, messing with her hands. "How do I..." But she knew she knew the answer already. "What am I? To you?" She asked instead. Smart question. Chase thought so too.

"You... are my Haylin Witch." She took a shivery breath, then looked directly at him, not sure of what would he would tell her next. "You have powers most can only dream about. It takes years to master them, and even longer to fully understand them, however you are developing them at an incredible speed. Soon, they will be fully realized... and you will take your place." Toni felt a strange grip at her heart just then. They were coming back... and Chase wasn't going to be around much longer to help her out. "In order for a balance to remain between the Haylin and Xiaolin, the forces of evil and good must be of little or no difference to each other... and without a Haylin witch—not to mention the two new dragons the Xiaolin will soon be getting-"

A small gasping noise made him stop. "Wait... two? I know Jermaine went to train there, but who's... the..." Then it clicked. And then, Chase was using me, like the silly little pawn I was meant to be. "No..." She grabbed at the table, trying to find her bearings, trying to block out Chase Young's insane lingering laughter as he vanished into thin air, trying to get to the squishy chair with a back so she could lean on it... But she failed. Her hand slipped from the table, and she fell onto the floor, blacking out.

"That was relaxing." I said, expecting to hear a chuckle from my new apprentice. But... there was no laughing, no chuckling... no nothing. "Toni... HEY! Are you... oh no." It was then I saw her on the ground, breathing heavily, mumbling only a few words at a time. I lifted her up and brought her to my room, giving her a nicer place to lie down. "Toni... Toni, talk to me, what's the matter, what's up?"

She muttered a little, and I could only make out a few words... "Witch... Help... It hurts..."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Using a strength I didn't know I gathered, I picked her up, allowing her to clench my shirt in pain. "Jaaaaack..." she moaned. I have to admit, the first time I thought that would happen... well, let's just say I wouldn't have been this scared. There was a large amount of sweat on her forehead as I laid her down on the table, her hair sticking to her face, but more or less just a mess everywhere. Not that mine looks much better...

"J-just... ah... wh-what do you need?" I asked her, not sure if she would be able to give a response. She stared at me, and in like... only a few seconds, I could sense that this wouldn't end well. Toni looked away, and I did too, noticing a row of JackBots that were apparently staring right back at us. Their metallic faces were just so... blank and empty. From what I could tell, she didn't like it. So much so that her stare... her angry cold... it wasn't even a girl look anymore, man. It was a... devil possessed look that you only see in those horror movies! One single brown hand extended up into the air, right in front of my face. And... God, I feel like a total idiot for not noticing this, but... How could I? I mean, it's not like she was exhibiting any signs of Wuya-like bitchiness... heheh, witchiness? Anyways, there was none of that, so... I didn't even know, really! If I did, you know... Anyway.

Toni kept her eyes on the JackBots and I kept my eyes on her hand... and suddenly, it was like old times. The staticky green magic that sparked around her fingertips... the feel that something evil was around... the smell of it, even... All of my senses just prickled at the sight of it, cuz it reminded me of Wuya so much, you know? I dunno... it was weird. Less than a second later, the JackBots were exploding like it was going out of style! Just... pow-pow-pow, right in a row! Like light bulbs! I covered my face with my arm, which attracted several larger pieces of metal to gather around me and Toni like a shield, keeping the smaller shrapnel from getting to us. Her hand slowly curled into a fist, and I was watching it like it was going after ME next!

Well, I'm still the same Jack Spicer, okay! People usually attack me if they get the chance! S'not my fault...

A few seconds passed in dead. Silence. Nothing happened, nothing was said... I just waited, my makeshift metal shield still up around us. At first, I thought Toni was going to die on the table... which would honestly just suck like... you have NO idea. SUCK, okay? But she turned to me.

…

Sorry, but... It was eerie, you know? Her eyes were totally dead, like... you know how someone looks after they just do something they KNOW they're going to go to Hell for? That they kinda more or less regret? THAT dead look? That's how she looked. And I was getting freaked right the fuck out. "Will you... stay evil? Forever?" Well, if that wasn't a weird ass question. She glared at me, the dead look in her eyes still burning through my skull as if it wanted to kill me. I shrugged. I mean, I have—had—no real reason to turn to the side of good. So what else could I do? I said yes.

How the hell was I supposed to know that it would... well, anyways. She just looked at the ceiling like it was going to give her all the answers, and I didn't know what else to do, so I dropped the shields and studied her face, to make sure she hadn't gone through any shock or anything... and that was when. That was when she told me to do it.

"Jack. You're evil, right?" Yeah. "And you don't regret what you do?" Well, from Chase's previous talk... apparently not, huh? I shook my head, no. "... I need you to get Jermaine away from the Xiaolin. Get him to go back home. I don't care what you have to do... but get him away from them."

… Somehow, you know I'm lying... don't you? That's not what she said.

"Jack," The first part of the conversation was normal, but... "I need you... to kill Jermaine."

I am Jack's difficult decision. And I don't think I can do that...

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Alright, read, review, you know the drill!


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